


Hearts Unchanged

by Sukunami



Series: Hearts Unchanged [1]
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-11
Updated: 2004-02-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 08:36:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20206843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sukunami/pseuds/Sukunami
Summary: The personal slave of a sorceress is gifted to a dark knight, her storm of death





	1. Chapter 1

[Seifer]

He was the first and only man whom I feared. There was my Queen, my Mistress, whom I also feared, but that was from experience upon experience teaching me that she wasn't one to be crossed nor denied. Meanwhile, this dark knight, this Squall Leonhart... I feared him after a single glance into his stony eyes of blue and gray. And it seemed a ridiculous fear. My Queen held the great powers of a sorceress and was logically dangerous, but there was nothing about the man which should have made my defenses rise to full alert. He was so small, not even close to my natural height of over six feet. Nor did he have the muscles one would expect of a strong warrior, his rather slender body instead moving with the grace of a dancer.

It couldn't have been the first time I had seen him, that day he knelt before my Queen to receive her praise, but I have the habit of not paying attention to the court life which my Mistress enjoys controlling. She has honored many knights for their accomplishments, but I recognized his name as being the man who has become highly favored as of late. For that reason I had decided to look him over, and I was unimpressed until I stared into those eyes partly hidden behind the grill of his black helmet. Only Death himself should have eyes like those.

"My lovely storm of death, you have out done yourself this time. I'm most pleased with your achievements."

The darkly dressed knight said nothing as he met my Queen's gaze, a feat few people could manage while appearing unbothered by the woman’s eyes of demonic black with piercing red irises.

"For that, I wish to gift you with something. Is there anything you desire?"

Bowing his head slightly, he replied in a quiet but firm voice, "I only desire to serve you, my Queen."

The sorceress laughed in a way that didn't resemble good humor in the least. "Come now, don't treat me like a fool who can be swayed by such words."

"... ..."

"Hmm, but you support your words of loyalty with actions. Actions which must be rewarded." The boney fingers that had been raking through my hair then gripped tightly as she made me straighten from my kneeling position at her side. "Tell me, my knight, does my pet here please you?"

Those cold eyes shifted, their full force felt with his attention focused solely on me. "Only if he serves you well."

Again she laughed. "You are a careful one. Yes, I dare say that this one pleases me. And for tonight, he will be whatever you desire."

The man bowed his head. "You spoil me, my Queen."

I could practically feel the vicious smile that I knew appeared on the sorceress's face, my Mistress always delighted by any words, no matter how meaningless, that praised her false kindness. That smile was well known to me. And yet, even I wasn't able to detect the insincerity in the man's soft voice, as if this dark knight truly believed his Queen a generous patron.

"Enjoy your night, my lovely storm, and we will speak in the morning." Those words spoken, the ageless woman signaled for me to stand. "Take him to your room, pet, and please him as you would me."

I bowed deeply at the command, recognizing the implied order that I would be severely punished if the dark knight was dissatisfied with me. As I faced the warrior once more, sickening pressure started to build within my stomach. For the life of me, I could only imagine him being a sadist, which wasn't rare among my Queen's favorites, but this man had a far more experienced hand at pain compared to the rich snobs to which I was more accustomed. I wasn't certain that I would survive the night with my sanity.

Even so, I led the dark knight to my chambers, never showing him my anxiousness as I ran through several scenarios about the coming night. No matter what would happen, I was determined to not appear weak. I would never truly beg, never cry, and never show my fear. It was a pathetic show of strength when I was still being fucked in the end, but it was the only resistance that I was allowed.

I entered the suite first, wasting no time as I approached the large bed in the back room. After taking a deep breath to steady my voice, I turned sharply to face the silent man.

"And what does your lordship desire of me tonight?"

From behind the grill of the helmet, icy eyes shifted from their examination of the room. "You tell me."

Holding back mocking words, I took a step closer to him. "Well, do you desire me? Or perhaps something more like this..." I said as I focused on my body, changing it into my most hated form, albeit the most popular one. I always felt weak in that far thinner body, not to mention unbalanced with the ridiculously large breasts and small feet.

The blue-gray eyes barely widened in surprise. "You're a shape shifter."

"Smart boy," I said flippantly in a feminine voice as I stepped closer to him and placed a hand upon his chest. "Tonight, I am whatever you desire."

After a short pause, he asked, "Is there a bath in these rooms?"

I smirked. "Certainly, lordship. Just behind that door."

He nodded, then brushed away my hand. "Turn to your natural form and lie down on the bed."

Without waiting to see if I would obey his order, the dark knight walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind him in the clear sign that I wasn't wanted. Oddly, I was reluctant to change back into my natural form. Always I was forced to be something different, whether being a smaller human, holding some odd animal feature, or just _something _that made me not myself. To have to do this in my true body... But I didn't dare deny the dark knight his request, and I soon found myself lying bare of clothes on top of the bed.

He took a fair amount of time in the bathroom, and while it was a reasonable thing for the grungy warrior to need that extra time, I swore that he was doing it to make me suffer. So when the door did open, I nearly jumped at the sound as I quickly looked over at him. Instantly, my anxiousness dropped away to surprise.

Though wet, his dark hair was hardly constrained as it framed the unexpectedly young and attractive face. Blue-gray eyes which appeared deadly behind the grill of his helmet were suddenly awe inspiring as the pale blue seemed to glow in the dim light of the room. Trading his uniform for a simple robe, the dark knight appeared even smaller than before. Not that he was a small man, but he didn't match my natural height and body frame. It was hard to believe that I feared him.

With silent steps, the man approached the bed and paused while glancing over my body. I couldn't be certain if the shiver which followed through me was from fear or anticipation.

"You'll get cold like that."

I blinked at the words stated with pure seriousness. When he then grabbed a pillow and quilt from the bed, I couldn't hold back my curiosity. "What do you desire of me, lordship?"

"Nothing," he said while dropping the pillow and blanket to the rug covered floor.

Sitting up with renewed fear, I stared at him. "Nothing? But I have to please you. I'm your reward. If she finds out that I didn't--"

"Can she read your mind?"

I hesitated at the question, knowing that it would be a bad idea to tell him the truth, but something about his eyes told me that he knew the answer anyway. "No. She can't."

"Then we have nothing to worry about," he stated while kneeling to the floor.

"Whoa, wait a second. What are you doing?"

"Going to sleep."

"On the floor?"

"I can't sleep on a bed." And with that, he wrapped himself tightly in the quilt.

My utter shock towards the situation left me speechless as I watched the dark knight fall directly to sleep. I was the slave, the man without worth who should be sleeping on the floor like a dog. While I had the immediate urge to get down to the floor myself, I couldn't bring myself to disobey half the orders I had been given – “Turn to your natural form and lie down on the bed.” And so I watched him for a long time, as if I could figure out the man in that way. But when none of my questions were answered by the sleeping man, I turned my attention to the nearby lamps and blew out the flames, hoping my fear would fade in the darkness.

~ > < ~

There were several such meetings in the year after that first one, each following the same pattern of myself being ordered to the bed where I would sleep alone. At first, I enjoyed that rare night during which nothing was required of me, but then my self-conscious side took over as I wondered why the man didn't even attempt to sneak a touch. But what truly confused me were the following mornings when my Mistress would search the man's mind and compliment me on satisfying the dark knight. It wasn't a minor task to trick a sorceress like that, and it made me reluctantly respect him all the more.

On the sixth night the warrior had been rewarded with my services, I had been ordered to the bed as usual, but I decided to ignore that command. Instead, I blocked his way to the bathroom, which earned me a confused look instead of an angry glare that anyone else would have directed my way.

"You're injured, lordship."

A faintly amused gleam entered the pale eyes. "It happens in war."

I frowned, knowing well about what can happen in battle, but that didn't mean the sight of his lame walk and blood-soaked clothes were any easier to witness. "I'll help you wash, and then I'll treat your wounds."

Before he could refuse me, I turned sharply and walked ahead of him into the bathing area. As I readied several buckets of heated water, the dark knight surprisingly entered without ordering me to the bed. Instead, he removed ruined clothes and sat on the bench next to the bath. With the excuse that I didn't want to get water on my own clothes, I stripped completely before approaching him.

It should have been a simple task, one I had done numerous times for my Mistress and others, but I found myself excited to finally touch this man. I still hadn't a clue why the dark knight caused such a dual sensation of fear and anticipation in me. Add in the fact that he was also the man who was fooling my Queen for some unknown purpose, I was intrigued by him.

While the chance to caress darkly tanned skin wrapped over lean muscle was a worthwhile experience, I was sorely disappointed when he didn’t seem interested by my attention. No suggestion of more sensual touches, no attempt to grab me, nothing. Not even an inappropriate moan when I briefly massaged tensed muscles. And when he stepped into the heated bath without an invitation given for me to join him, I had reached my limit.

"Am I that disgusting to you, lordship?"

Icy eyes stared at me for the sudden question, silently asking for an explanation.

"Is it because I'm not human? Or because I'm a slave? Is that why you won't even touch me?"

He hesitated before asking, "Is that what you want?"

"Yes. _No_. I mean..." I pressed a hand against my face. "Why do you keep accepting me as a reward when you don't _do_ anything with me? And why lie to our Queen about it? Do you desire a horrible, lingering death? 'Cause she will kill you when she finds out that she can't read your mind like the others."

The corner of his lip quirked up into a shadow of a smirk. "Why haven't you informed her yet?"

"Stop answering my questions with more fucking questions," I growled out, instantly regretting the words. In a calmer voice, I said, "Forgive me, lordship."

He sighed. "Enough. My name is Squall."

I stared at him for a long time, wondering why he bothered to state the obvious until I realized that he was giving me permission to call him by name. "I couldn't..."

With a shrug of indifference, he closed his eyes and relaxed in the soothing water.

After long moments of silence, I came to the decision to answer his previous question. "I don't want to tell her. She would kill you or something worse... And I don't hate you."

He opened his eyes, a somber glow shining in the pale blue. "You should."

A true smirk forming on my lips, I told him, "I know exactly who I hate in this world, and you aren't on that list."

With a slight frown, the dark knight looked at me, perhaps for the first time truly seeing what I was. "We will see about that."

~ > < ~

After that meeting, I grew bold around the dark knight... around Squall, that is. I constantly tested my limits, discovering that there were few rules when it came to the soldier. Foremost was to never question the man about his life. General questions about the ongoing war was fine, but nothing more specific was allowed. Rather, I could ask until my breath ran out, but the questioning would only close him off and ruin the rest of our short time together.

Touching was also a sore issue. While I was allowed my chance of exploration during his baths, he refused to even sit on the large bed with me. I wasn't certain what to think of that at first, but eventually I came to the conclusion that Squall simply enjoyed denying himself any pleasure in life. Even small desserts were avoided as if poisoned.

With every day that passed, I became increasingly concerned about my growing obsession in connection with the dark knight, but my Mistress didn't notice or else didn't care about my more attentive state whenever the young general and his unit were mentioned. It was from those sporadic reports that I began to understand the meaning behind the man's words that night months previous. I was somewhat surprised to discover that he truly was my Queen's storm of death, a storm who had little discrimination in terms of age, sex and innocence. With that knowledge, it wasn't difficult to see why my Mistress favored the man, someone who seemed to hold the same heartless nature as herself. But I refused to let myself be fooled in the same manner.

Though that was a question which plagued me daily - who was the dark knight truly deceiving? While he showed me kindness, I wasn't completely naive. I knew there was the possibility of him trying to befriend me, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what benefit it would bring him. On the other hand, while I hoped he was fooling my Queen, it was ridiculous to taunt a powerful and heartless sorceress in that fashion. And perhaps, if that was his true nature as well, he would probably find respect in her cruel ways.

And that is the state I was in one day, walking around the castle grounds while those persistent thoughts clouded my mind and senses. The lack of sleep the two nights previous certainly didn't help my distracted state. For those reasons, I didn't know better to avoid the back garden of budding roses and cherry trees.

"Well, I'll be... So, the golden bird is allowed out of its cage on occasion."

I stopped at the voice and kept my expression neutral as I faced the nobleman who had a fondness for the sound of leather against flesh. But the lanky man wasn't bothered by my cooler expression. Instead he smiled widely at the apparent joke that I still had resistance left within me.

With obvious disappointment, dark brown eyes examined my body. "Why do you walk around in that form when you could be a beautiful addition to this garden?"

I resisted a disrespectful growl, but I couldn't help my glare. "Forgive me, lordship, but I didn't realize that I was yours tonight."

"That matters not," he said, then reached out to grab my chin and forced me to slump forward to give him a sense of greater height over me. "Change into that whore I had the other month."

Only from past experiences and resulting punishments was I able to hold back my instinct to punch the nobleman. "I'm not allowed... lordship."

"The Queen won't mind. In fact, she doesn't even have to know." Attempting a purring voice, he added, "You know you want this."

I scoffed. "Like hell I do."

The sharp response earned me a backhand to my cheek, and given my awkward position, I stumbled to the side as if the strike had been stronger than it was. I straightened unhurriedly while fisting my hands at my sides and biting my tongue to prevent any other form of provocation.

Smirking, the lanky man stepped closer to me, but whatever he was about to say was cut short by a voice behind me.

"Is something the matter here?"

The nobleman's expression quickly changed once he saw the owner of that voice, but I couldn't take pleasure in his sudden horror. As common with everything the dark knight did to me, I was overwhelmed by conflicting emotions of both relief and shame that Squall was there to save me from the nobleman.

"Sir Leonhart," the lanky man greeted him with a nod, but I still heard the fear hidden beneath the false calm.

Finally able to smirk without holding back, I told the nobleman, "As you see, I'm promised to another tonight."

If possible, the man paled further. "To... the general, is it?"

Squall stepped forward to my side, his eyes the iciest that I had ever seen them. "You have tried to take our Queen's pet without permission?"

"It was a... misunderstanding."

The dark knight didn't reply to the ridiculous excuse. Instead, he glared at the nobleman with the clear message that my Mistress would be hearing about the day's event. And for that brief moment, I pitied the arrogant man. That is, until his hand went for the jeweled hilt at his side. Before I could even consider a warning to give the knight, a thick blade of dark metal was suddenly pressed against the skin of the nobleman's neck.

"Care to rethink that?" Squall asked, his hand steady as he held up the heavy sword.

Dark brown eyes were wide as the nobleman slowly removed his hand from the ornamental sword.

"I suggest placing as much distance between you and this castle as you can. Our Queen won't be pleased with your actions."

"How dare you..." the lanky man began, the feeling of offense giving him some backbone. "You are a nothing soldier with no money and no blood. She can replace you with anyone she desires, but she needs the support of the higher class. She cannot rule without us."

To my surprise, the dark knight sneered frightfully in reply. "If she desired it, our Queen could kill off your family and take the money for herself." With an odd gleam to his eyes, he added, "And I would insist to handle such a task personally."

The nobleman looked about ready to say something in reply, but the sword was raised to his eye level.

"Go."

Dark eyes focused on the edge of the blade, the nobleman finally stepped back slowly with an attempt to maintain his dignity. Once plenty of distance had been placed between him and Squall, the lanky man turned his back to us and exited the garden area at a rather fast pace. The brunet at my side waited until that moment before sheathing his sword.

Grinning with amusement, I faced the dark knight. "Thanks for the show. It's not often that I get to see those pricks run with their tails tucked between their legs."

Squall didn't acknowledge the words as he gently touched my cheek with gloved fingers. "A shame you couldn't handle this yourself."

Stunned from being touched by the man, I could only mutter out, "I heal quickly."

"That's not what I mean. He knew you were helpless to fight back."

I smirked, somewhat relieved to know that Squall knew I wasn't weaker than that fool nobleman. "Yeah, well, it's not the first time that this has happened. But forget it. What do we have planned for tonight?"

He frowned while removing his hand from my face. "You aren't promised to me tonight."

"What? But you only visit the castle when you are to be rewarded."

He shook his head. "I cannot stay overnight. The northern realms are planning something that must be stopped."

I stared at him, somewhat surprised at my own disheartened state that I wouldn't be spending the night with the dark knight. I tried to tell myself that I was only hoping for the night of peaceful sleep, but I knew it was more than that.

"Seifer?"

Bitter words unintentionally left my mouth - "If you must be going, then don't waste your time with me, lordship."

Squall frowned, but instead of scolding the offensive words, he commented, "You seem exhausted."

"No sleep in a couple days does that to a normal person. Now if you don't mind..." I said while attempting to leave, but he blocked my path.

"Why aren't you resting in your chambers?"

I suddenly felt hot anger at the man and I played with the idea to punch him. Hard. "I'm not allowed into those chambers without a guest, and I sleep in my Mistress' chambers otherwise. But she’s upset with me, and I can only enter those rooms with permission she hasn’t given. Now, do you have any other questions to point out the futility of my existence, or may I leave?"

After a moment of thought, he asked, "Could you sleep on the ground?"

"Oh, sure. Brilliant idea. And how about I strip off my clothes and make myself _really_ available to anybody who walks by?"

Without reacting to my sarcastic tone, Squall unbuttoned his uniform jacket and stepped over to an aged cherry tree. After removing the jacket, he folded the dark material and dropped the makeshift pillow to the grassy ground. Leaving it there, he then moved to sit down against the trunk of the tree. The silent invitation was obvious, but I still felt confused.

"I thought you have to leave."

He looked up at me with those incredible blue-gray eyes. "I have a meeting with our Queen first, and that won't be for some time yet. I can watch over you until I'm summoned."

"Why bother?"

Squall quietly replied, "I know how it feels to be tired."

I stared at him for several moments, waiting. I wasn't certain for what exactly. Maybe for a crack in that mask of his, or maybe for a misspoken word that would prove him to be like every other person I had been promised to, but nothing came. Shrugging with false indifference, I stepped over to the dropped jacket and laid out along the grass with my back facing the dark knight. It wasn't for a sign of trust, but simply because I didn't want to give Squall the opportunity to read anything within my expression.

It was beyond surreal to find myself in that situation, lying down with my face half-buried in the man's jacket. I suppose that I should have been worried to have the so-called 'storm of death' at my back. But instead, I easily slipped into a rare peaceful sleep, all the while breathing in the smell of leather and metal mixed with the faint scent of blood.

~ > < ~

Sitting on the large bed that I hated with a passion, I waited impatiently for the arrival of the dark knight. It wasn't fair that I had to be the one to trick Squall, to get him to fulfill my Queen's demands without giving away too many details. Then again, I didn't know much myself. Only the one very important detail.

At the sound of a faint click, I straightened in my seated position and looked toward the bedroom door. Eventually the darkly dressed man appeared, his helmet still on and hiding his face from view. Even so, I could feel his icy eyes clearly, the piercing stare always wanting something from me, something I couldn't identify.

"You've spoken with my Mistress," I said, my voice surprisingly rough from frustrated emotions.

He shook his head. "She summoned me to the castle, but her personal guards directed me to these chambers. What is this about?"

Resisting the urge to laugh in disbelief about the situation, I looked away sharply from the clueless man. "You are to stay here until a meeting with my Mistress in two nights. We're to have sex until that time," I stated numbly.

"That isn't necessary."

"It's completely necessary. I don't know how you've managed to trick her to this point, but this time she'll use physical methods to see how active we've been over the next two days." Smirking weakly, I added, "There's no way around it. You'll just have to fuck me as much as you can stand."

While unseen, Squall's disapproving glare was easily felt. But he said nothing in response before he headed directly for the bathroom and closed the door tightly behind him. I wanted to laugh out loud that he was so disgusted by the idea of having sex with me that he had to immediately cleanse himself. But instead I surrendered myself to the hopelessness of the situation and removed my clothing before lying down at the head of the bed.

In a span of time that was both fearfully short and painfully long, the bathroom door opened, and Squall exited with a robe covering his lean body. Vaguely smirking, I decided that it was at least a minor comfort that the man was very attractive... No, by that point I was sadly falling in love with the dark knight. It was a ridiculous love, one I knew was solely based on his odd form of kindness towards me, but logic never was one of my strong points.

Squall sat at the edge of the bed while his eyes remained focused on the fireplace. He didn't say anything, though. He only sat there with a conflicted gleam to his eyes.

"I can be whatever you want, you know."

Still not facing me, he asked, "Can you stay as you are?"

The simple question shouldn't have made me as happy as it did. "Well, isn't that a part of 'whatever you want'? Idiot."

A vague smile formed before he finally looked at me. "You've grown bold."

I thought about responding, but I was struck dumb by the slight smile I had never witnessed before. Unfortunately it vanished quickly as if he had suddenly remembered it wasn't proper for the situation.

"I have never done this," he said.

Somewhat confused, I asked, "You haven't done what, exactly? Fucked a nonhuman?"

"Or anyone else."

At first the admission stated without shame surprised me greatly, but then I remembered the man's apparent avoidance of anything that could bring a touch of pleasure to his life. How could a man purposefully choose to live his life like that? Some people shouldn't be allowed their freedom if they were only going to waste it.

Sitting up straight, I was struck once again by how small the feared general appeared this close and without his uniform. And yet for that moment, I wasn't afraid of him. Leaning in close to the brunet, I placed my hand at the belt of his robe before I lightly kissed his neck. Squall shivered at the touch, but he didn't pull away. The robe was easily opened to bare his lightly tanned skin covered with white scars of various sizes and shapes. It wasn't the first time I had touched the cool skin, but I still couldn't get enough of feeling the toned body. It was so different compared to the aristocrats to whom I was more accustomed.

"Could we pretend?" I dared to ask out loud.

Squall stiffened at the question. "Pretend?"

"That we didn't have to do this, but we want to. That we're..." I scoffed at my stupidity. "Never mind. Let's just do this."

A cool hand grabbed onto mine. "How would we pretend?"

I became lost in his eyes, an unexpected innocence highlighting the pale blue. Feeling entranced, I leaned forward to whisper, "Like this," before I pressed my lips against his. As I softly kneaded our lips together, I was struck by the idea that this was probably the first kiss for the both of us. I've only had mockery of kisses that left me sick in the stomach, and certainly nothing like this. Nothing this sweet and somehow bitter in the same moment.

As I continued to kiss him, I moved my hand lower along his body despite his hand still gripping onto mine. Reaching his penis, I stroked a single finger along the hardening shaft. Squall gasped at the move, helping me to deepen our kiss. It was intoxicating like that, to only tease him in a way that I knew others wouldn't dare touch the general. It was also something that others I have pleasured would never allow me. I was so lost in that sense of power that I didn't notice the movement of his hand which caressed my beginning arousal, the surprise of his touch making me jerk back away from him.

Stormy eyes hardened at the action. "You’re afraid of me."

I shook my head and gave myself a moment to regain lost breath. "No. I'm just not used to people being exactly... gentle with that area."

His gaze softened again before he stood up from the mattress. With a teasing slowness, Squall removed his robe and dropped it to the floor. His eyes guarded, he sat closer to me than before and rested his hand on my thigh. I didn't react to the touch, and instead I found myself smiling at the hesitant nature of the dark knight. When his calloused fingers began to run along my shaft, I sighed at the amazing feel. But the light touch wasn't enough for my desires. Once again leaning close to him, I grabbed onto his arousal without reserve. Squall's eyes fluttered at the bold move, and after a few deep breaths, he caught onto my suggestion and repeated the action by fisting his hand around my cock. It was a mimic game after that, myself holding the lead through the strokes and kisses.

Eventually while thumbing the redden head of his erection, I felt the dribble of precum coating my skin. At that warning, I pulled away from a particularly deep kiss, earning a confused, cross-eyed look from Squall. Reluctantly I removed my hand from him, that making the brunet add a slight frown to his expression.

"We should move on with this," I said, partly reminding myself about the true purpose of sex with this man.

He nodded, moving back to give me room.

Looking into the trusting blue-gray eyes, I suddenly felt ashamed of what I was about to do. I quickly rolled over onto my stomach with my knees folded beneath me and my face mostly buried in a soft pillow. When Squall didn't move at the clear offer, I sighed and lifted my ass higher.

"It's just a hole, Squall. Nothing complicated."

"I'll hurt you."

I closed my eyes at the statement, trying hard to not think about how I could be the one who would hurt him. "It doesn't matter, but if it bothers you that much, there's oil in the drawer of the nightstand."

After the sound of the opening drawer, there was a long pause during which I remembered what else should be in that drawer. I wondered if the dark knight was even able to identify half of the objects in there and their uses. But he recovered in time and grabbed the vial of fragranced oil. As he prepared himself, I closed my eyes and readied my body for the coming invasion.

Chilled hands slipped around my waist, just before the tip of his oiled erection brushed against my opening. Slowly and carefully Squall pressed forward, not stopping until he was almost completely sheathed within me. Resting there, he leaned forward to press his forehead against my back where his shaky breaths caressed along my skin. I was amazed to find myself matching those rushed breaths as I rocked back against him.

"Seifer... shit."

I shivered at the sound of my name whispered harshly in pleasure. It was so rare to hear my name in common circumstances, but I never dared to imagine hearing it in this type of situation... even if we were only pretending to be lovers instead of pawns following our Queen's commands.

As he began to thrust within me, I tried to open my body to him, but it seemed an impossible task with him distracting me with unexpected pleasure. Then he had the audacity to increase that pleasure by taking a hold of my erection and massage it in time with his deepening thrusts. I bit into the pillow, trying to prevent the need to scream out, but something came out of me instead - a deep rumbling sound that I couldn't prevent.

Squall slowed to a stop and spoke in a concerned voice. "Seifer... am I hurting you?"

"_No_... Gods, no..." was the best response I could offer him, my idiotic purring making me tongue-tied.

Hesitantly he leaned forward and lightly pressed a trail of kisses along my spine before he restarted a slow and measured pace with his thrusts. I couldn't think anymore, couldn't even move as I surrendered completely to the dark knight. And then felt my insides splitting and turning, the sensation painful and yet more pleasurable than words could describe.

After the warning of a nearly unheard cry, I felt his expansion and sharp release, and I swore that I could feel his heated seed go deep within me. While I trailed that warm sensation, I was surprised by the sudden closure of my body, as if a door had been slammed shut in my face. I knew my body completely, as is necessary for those of my kind, and yet it felt like something had been numbed or stolen from me in that brief moment. Confused and somewhat frightened, I shivered at that sensation.

Once recovered, Squall slowly pulled out from me and sluggishly moved to the edge of the bed. I quickly grabbed his arm and attempted to pull him down onto the mattress, but he was immovable. Tiredly I looked up at him, and once I meet with exhausted and bright blue-gray eyes, I found myself purring again.

Eyes narrowed in thought, Squall asked, "What is that?"

"Can't help it," I muttered before rolling over onto my back, but the brunet still didn't budge when I pulled on his arm. With a somewhat hopeful note, I asked, "Aren't we still pretending?"

He relaxed at the question and nodded before moving to lie down at my side.

After a time of silence, I said, "I purr, all right? I purr like an idiot stray cat whenever something feels good. I remember as a kid, my mother would purposefully rub my stomach just to make me purr for hours on end." In a quiet murmur, I added, "I haven't purred since then."

"What happened to your mother?"

"She was killed along with the other adults of my clan. Only the children were spared to be pets, but most of them have died over the years. I'm too stubborn for my own good," I said with a sneer.

Squall didn't speak immediately after that, and when he did, it was in an incredibly quiet voice. "This will end."

I sat up sharply at the words and stared at the prone man. "Then you _are_ planning something against my Mistress. You are fooling her for some purpose, but... but... you _can't_. She's too powerful. She'll kill you before you blink the wrong way." Horror slowly overcame me as I realized something. "What do you want from me? Why are so kind to me? You know I can't do anything, I _won't _do anything against her. She'd kill you, but I wouldn't be as lucky."

Eyes of stone and ice looked up at me with an irritating calmness. "You have no role in this."

I continued to stare at him, suddenly offended that he never wanted to use me after all, but I quickly realized the ridiculousness of that thought. While I ran my fingers through damp hair, I tried to figure out why I was always so fickle around the dark knight. It was as if I was determined to find a reason to hate him.

"Get some sleep, Seifer. We have plenty of time to talk later."

And then I noticed his exhausted state, most likely not from the sex previous. No, he seemed the type to travel hard and fast, sleep becoming more of an option than a necessity. He didn't even wait to see if I would follow his order and lie down. Instead he closed his eyes and prepared for sleep which always came so quickly for him. As per habit of mine by that point, I watched over him as his body relaxed and his breaths evened out. For a long time, I sat there unmoving with my eyes focused on the lean form and my hand resting lightly over my stomach.

With a quiet whisper, I told the sleeping man, "Please end this soon."

~ > < ~

Sometime after the call of midnight on the second night of his stay, Squall and I were summoned to the special meeting room of my Mistress. It was a room I disliked given the strong wards lining the walls. Even people without any magical abilities could sense the threatening power within that room.

Upon entering, I paused at the sight of an abnormal addition to the room: a small guillotine which sat at the edge of the large table centered in the room. My Mistress stood next to the device and fingered the dark wood as if to make certain we noticed its presence.

Seemingly unbothered by the woman's wicked smile, Squall dropped to his knee and bowed his head.

"My lovely storm. Have you enjoyed your rest?"

"Yes, my Queen."

She chuckled in a knowing fashion, and then the odd eyes of red and black were turned to me. "Come, my pet. I don't wish to waste any more time than necessary."

I forced myself to not hesitate at the kind voice which was obviously fake, and I stepped directly to my Queen's side.

"Place your arm here," she ordered, waving to the base of the guillotine.

Even if I thought I could resist the command, I didn't feel afraid of the threat it presented. I slid my hand into the wooden cuff beneath the blade and rested my arm on the wooden plank. Smiling, my Mistress tightly buckled the straps around my arm such that it was secured flat against the plank.

"Now, my precious pet," the sorceress started while stroking the hair at my neck with her lengthy nails. "Did you succeed in what I've asked of you?"

Reluctantly, I nodded.

She smiled viciously in reply. "And do you really think that I would trust your word?"

As she stroked her finger along dark wood, I suddenly remembered a “small” detail about what my condition would imply. I stared at my arm and willed it to change, but my body was unresponsive to the silent commands. I continued to mentally yell at my arm, and when I became truly desperate, I tried to pull my arm free, but it was useless.

With wide eyes I watched as my Mistress' smile broadened before her hand slid down to a lever. I didn't lower myself to begging, but I couldn't stop the reflex to close my eyes as if it would keep away any pain. I heard the release of the blade followed by its fast journey down the wooden tracks, and then the final clang of its sudden halt. I winced at the last sound, expecting pain to overwhelm me at any moment, but I felt nothing. I cracked an eye open to look at the damage to my body, but I then open my eyes wide when I saw a small knife embedded into the dark wood as it held the slanted blade barely a finger's width away from my wrist.

"What have you done?" the sorceress hissed, instantly drawing my attention to her and the dark knight.

His head bowed, Squall said, "Forgive me, my Queen, but I saw no reason for your body and gown to be soiled by this creature's blood."

The eyes of red and black narrowed suspiciously at the knight, but eventually her obvious anger faded away. "Since you were only thinking of myself, I can forgive you this minor offense. But remember, my storm, you obey my direct orders. Do not assume them." Facing me, she smiled. "In any case, the truth of his words have been verified, which means that I can move on with the primary reason that I have summoned you here."

Her dress rustling with her movements, my Mistress approached the kneeling man while she removed something from a hidden pocket. A wooden box about the size of her hand was revealed as she stopped directly in front of him.

"Rise, my knight."

Squall obeyed with his natural grace and gazed directly into the sorceress' abnormal eyes.

"Do you know what this is?" she asked upon opening the box.

The dark knight glanced at the large orb of a white marble-like material, and then shook his head. "It appears only a shaped stone to me, my Queen."

"A-ah, but it's more than that, my lovely storm." She handed the orb to Squall while she kept the box for herself. "However, at this time all you need to know is that this 'stone' will rid me of that damned northern witch forever. But being a cautious woman, I won't give you the secrets of that orb until you have infiltrated Edea's castle."

A vague frown marred the man's expression. "That won't be a simple task, my Queen."

The sorceress smiled darkly before returning to my side. "That is why I have decided to enlist you for this mission, my storm of death. If anyone can make it past that witch's defenses, it would be you." Staring directly into my eyes, she ran her nails through my hair. "And if you happen to die, your heir shall take your place as my favored general."

Squall's frown deepened at the comment. "I have no heir, my Queen."

"A-ah, then my pet still respects my orders when it comes to you. That is... good to know." Turning to face him, she smiled and said, "Congratulations, young general. You will be father within the year."

Confusion was clear in the icy eyes until Squall met my gaze. The stormy eyes widened in understanding, and then that surprise was soon lost under his typical neutral mask as he bowed. "Thank you, my Queen."

Though she returned her eyes to stare at me, the sorceress continued to speak with the knight. "You have been loyal to me, and as you know, I always reward loyalty. In time your heir will also prove the honor of your bloodline. But that won't be for years to come, unfortunately."

As I stared helplessly into the eyes of red and black, I tried to not let her see my hate and anger at her words, all of them stated as if I had no worth to the coming child. But even that anger couldn't compare to my frustration to learn that my child was expected to live the life of a slave. I would rather death than allow my child to suffer at someone else's hand.

My Mistress hummed out her amusement. "Is there something you wish to add, my pet?" When I didn't take the bait, she smiled in a sympathetic fashion. "My poor child, I thought I rid you of that bothersome backbone. It must hurt you to hold onto such hope. But don't fear, my pet. We will remedy this soon."

I glared at her, just barely holding back the shivers which wanted to rack my body. She wasn't being figurative in her statement that she had once removed my backbone, her magic keeping me alive until I finally regrew the necessary body part. It was her favorite joke and my most hated nightmare.

Not for the first time, I wished for her most unpleasant death. However, in that moment, the Gods seemed to have been listening.

In an abrupt jerk, my Mistress gasped and held a hand to her throat as if she were choking. Eyes narrowed, she spun around to face the dark knight. I followed her gaze and stared stunned at the sight of Squall holding the white orb sandwiched between his two hands, both he and the orb glowing a soft white as he mouthed unheard words.

"How...?" Coughing for air, the sorceress glared heatedly at the dark knight and hissed out, "Traitor," before she flung a spell at the seemingly vulnerable man.

With a loud crack and flash of light, the curse broke apart around Squall, leaving him entirely unscathed. Despite the distractions, he only opened his eyes while he continued to speak the soundless words. His expression revealed nothing, but I swore that I saw a taunting gleam within the pale blue eyes.

After a few more failed attacks with magic, the sorceress turned sharply with her desperate gaze focused on me. Still bound to the small guillotine, I couldn't escape as she approached with hurried steps. Her bony hand was instantly at my throat, her long nails digging into my flesh.

"I will... _kill_... him," she warned to the knight between harsh, needy breaths.

Squall obviously wasn't bothered by the threat, his lips forming a deadly smirk as he held out the now hovering orb in one hand. He whispered a single word in a sharp order, and the orb reacted immediately as a white, ghost-like hand reached out to my Mistress. I was quickly forgotten as she attempted to flee, but the translucent hand was frightfully fast as it plunged into the woman. There was little struggle after that, the red and black eyes of the sorceress turning to an ordinary set of dark brown eyes before she went completely limp and fell to the floor. The ghost-like hand retreated from the body with a mist of dark gray held tightly in its grasp as it returned to the stone orb. Instantly the white light vanished from around Squall, the man sighing in exhaustion as his hand dropped to his side.

I was afraid to speak at that moment, as if I could shatter the current reality with something as simple as mere words. So I continued to stand in place and silently watch the dark knight while he carefully placed the orb in a pouch hanging from his belt.

Purposefully not meeting my eyes, Squall pulled a dagger from a hidden sheath at his back and strode up to the fallen body. Lifting the woman slightly by her dark hair, he causally slit the exposed throat and carelessly dropped the heavily bleeding body back to the floor. Standing straight, he stared down at the redden dagger in his hand.

"Where can you go from here?" he asked in a quiet voice.

I jumped at the sound of his voice, but then quickly regained some calm. "Is she truly dead?"

He nodded, but kept his head bowed.

"I... I'm free...?" And then the meaning of his question made better sense. "I told you, Squall. My clan was wiped out, and the others are always in hiding. But living on the streets will be better than my life to this point. I can survive."

"... Is it truly possible for you to be pregnant?"

His voice suddenly sounded pained to me and I instinctively reached out to him, but my bound state quickly prevented that. "Squall. I didn't want to, but my Mistress... and I didn't mind if it was you. This whole hand thing was to show that I can't transform, which means that I _am_ pregnant... _Fuck_, it wasn't supposed to be like this," I growled out.

"No. It wasn't." The bloodied dagger then fell from his loosened grip and he finally looked up to meet my gaze. "I will take you some place safe."

"You don't--"

Squall quieted my argument with a simple icy glare before he approached me to release my arm from its leather bindings. Briefly he rubbed the reddened flesh with his thumb, but then turned sharply to exit the warded room.

"I need to retrieve my sword, and then we leave. I hope you can ride a horse."

And before I had the opportunity to answer, he left the room at a brisk pace. Trusting that my longer stride would help me to catch up to him, I held back to give myself a moment to look down at the defeated sorceress. Staring at the once feared woman, I wondered briefly if I would be any better off with the person who could kill an aged sorceress. But looking back at the small knife still embedded in the wood of the guillotine, all my doubts vanished with a smirk as I silently promised Squall that I would thoroughly thank him once we reached his supposed safe house. After a final glance at the fallen sorceress and the dropped dagger, I hurried after the fleeing knight and towards my new freedom.

{Continued}


	2. Chapter 2

[Squall]

Waiting at the cliff's edge, I stared down into the valley thick with dark trees. Just barely viewable given the poor light of the quarter moon, a large mansion rose well above the height of those pine trees. Despite my tight hold on the reins, the black mare beneath me was reluctant to hold still, Ember most likely recognizing her surroundings as well. It had been years since I last journeyed to the place, and even then it was for hardly a day's visit. And so, for the first time in a very long time, I could finally say that I had come home.

"Squa-all, I thought you promised me a bed tonight."

I resisted an amused smile at the annoyed and tired voice, something I don't think I would have tolerated from anyone else. "Only a mile left."

Riding the large stallion I had purchased for him, Seifer left the shadows of the forest to stop his horse along side mine. "This better not be like your 'just a couple more miles' that you fed me earlier, 'cause if it is, I'm stopping right here. Do you realize that I haven't been able to feel my ass for half of the fucking day?"

"You've mentioned it," I replied, figuring that the blond wasn't exaggerating given his inexperience with traveling horseback. "You can see the place from here. We're almost there."

I nudged my horse forward, and after a short pause to perhaps make certain that I wasn't lying, Seifer followed me at the painfully slow pace I had to set for this trip. It was unavoidable given the shifter's condition and lack of experience with a horse. The trip which typically took me one week to travel had taken over three weeks due to the slow pace and detours to avoid trackers, but I had to give the freed slave some credit. Despite his ongoing complaints, he did everything I asked of him, which was in truth more than I expected of the blond. Seifer was raised to be a sex slave, not a work slave, which meant he simply could not endure the rough touch of nature.

But those weeks together... it made things complicated. Over the previous eighteen months, I had little contact with the shifter. But despite what Seifer may have believed, he was the only reward which I allowed myself during that period of time. He was someone I could treat the way I wanted to, someone around whom I could be myself. During those brief times with the blond man, I felt human despite my crimes. Crimes which I should have died for... But then Seifer interfered with my plans. And he didn't even _do_ anything. Just him being nearby gave me a bothersome reason for living, and so I took on that responsibility to lead the shifter to somewhere safe. But I didn't imagine becoming further attached to Seifer.

"Squall, will you finally tell me what this place is, or do I have to keep guessing?"

"... Loire manor." I heard the shifter straighten in his saddle at the response.

"Loire...? As in Laguna Loire?"

I nodded.

"But Loire is... he's..." Seifer chuckled with little humor. "My Mistress despised him. I was never allowed to speak with the man, but even I have heard about his hatred for your methods. It sounded like he would kill you himself once the Queen's protection was gone. And this is the man you expect to take us in?"

"He's my father," I stated simply.

There was a moment of shocked silence before the blond said, "That's not possible. My Mistress--"

"Stop calling her that," I interrupted more sharply than I intended. "You no longer have a 'mistress'."

"... Shit, it's hard to catch myself at times. But as I was saying, the bitch would have never trusted a son of Loire. I've heard her rant about his eldest son, the one who was made heir to the estate recently, and that kid is only ten--"

"Nine."

"Whatever, and stop fucking interrupting me. The point is that he doesn't have an older son."

"Not that you know of," I said, already wishing that I had never mentioned my relationship to Laguna, but it wouldn't have remained a secret for much longer with the mansion already in view.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means you'll be safe here. Now be silent."

A low growl sounded behind me, but Seifer obeyed the command without a stronger argument than that. He learned early on in our travels that I would never order him around without reason, and while his loud ranting nearly got us killed one time, I could understand his desire to no longer be submissive. His words may have labeled him still a slave, but his spirit was already stronger with his recent freedom.

Instead of riding to the front gates, I took the back trail through dense forest to the servants' entrance. Once reaching the large doorway, I dismounted from Ember and knelt to the ground next to the stone porch. From experience alone, I found a loose rock and removed it from its position to uncover the thin rope hidden there. I pulled on the rope four times before replacing the stone. Standing back up, I turned to face Seifer, the blond already dismounted from his horse. Green eyes stared at me with confusion and question, but I had no energy to explain everything to him. It simply didn't matter.

In short time, there was the quick padding of feet before a faint light appeared through the cracks of the door. The locks were undone rapidly and the door was opened wide to reveal a plump woman holding a ridiculously large knife in her hand.

Ignoring the quiet '_shit_' from behind me, I attempted a small smile. "Sorry to wake you, Mrs Kadowaki."

"Squall...?" The woman lowered her arm as brown eyes studied me for a moment, recognition quickly lighting the dark eyes. "You horrid little boy. We've been expecting you for weeks. What kept you... oh, who's this?"

I stepped aside to look back at the large man. "Mrs K, this is Seifer. He'll be staying here for some time. Seifer, this is Reika Kadowaki, the head cook and someone I trust completely."

Vague tenseness left the shifter's body as he stepped forward to my side and bowed respectfully. "An honor to meet you, my lady. I apologize for the burden I’m placing upon your household."

Kadowaki smiled, obviously pleased. "Oh, stop that. 'Mrs K' is just fine if you're a friend of this one, and one more mouth to feed is no great burden. But dear me, why am I keeping you out in the cold when there's a warm fire waiting for you in the study? Come in, boys, come in," she said with an exaggerated wave. "You know the way, Squall. I'll alert Laguna, and don't even think of suggesting that I let him sleep," she said with a scolding finger, immediately making me close my mouth before I could make that very argument. "You know how he is about these things. And don't worry about your things or those animals - I'll have my boy take care of them. The lazy bum gets enough sleep during the day..."

Parting ways with the plump woman, I led the shifter through the dark hallways. "What was that about?" I asked him in a quiet voice.

"Hn? What was what?" Seifer asked distractedly while eyeing his surroundings.

"That act of yours."

"Hmm? With that lovely woman? Oh, that wasn't an act. One thing I've learned is that you should never get on the bad side of head cooks. And getting on their good sides rarely hurts."

I glanced over at the blond, but I didn't comment that I had a similar viewpoint. With my free time spent with servants of the household, I have heard plenty of tales about what they do to people who are overly rude to them. Some of the most creative stories came from the kitchen and Kadowaki herself.

It didn't take long to reach the large study that would be better termed a library. Large bookshelves reached up to the high ceiling, every shelf filled with books ranging from the recently bought and untouched to the well-read and worn. I walked easily through the almost maze-like placement of the shelves and reached the far wall which held a collection of mismatched furniture and a small fireplace.

"Have a seat," I told the shifter.

"Thank the gods," he muttered before unsurprisingly choosing my favored couch in the room and patting the empty place next to him. Though it was logically impossible, that man somehow had the ability to identify and exploit my every weakness to his benefit.

I shook my head at his tempting offer before I stepped up to the fireplace to gain some warmth from the small fire.

"So... nice place."

I smiled vaguely at the attempt of conversation. "Not as big as what you're used to."

"No, but it's warm here. _Alive_. In that castle, it felt like I was walking through a catacomb. I think I'll like it better here."

Glancing back at the man, I looked directly into green eyes highlighted by the glow of the fire. It felt threatening to stare into that open expression of trust, desire, and hope. I didn't understand what I was afraid of exactly while looking into those vivid green eyes, but I was grateful for the interruption of a soft click. I quickly faced the side wall and watched the hanging rug shake roughly before a man dressed in a nightgown and sleeping cap stumbled from behind the heavy fabric.

"Hyne, why are there so many loose stones in this place?" the man grumbled while brushing long, dark hair from his eyes.

A faint snicker sounded from the couch, Seifer ineffectively covering his mouth with a hand. The noise immediately caught the older man's attention, dark green eyes first looking at the blond and then at me. He said my name in a faint, relieved whisper before walking in my direction. I didn't resist the arms which wrapped around me tightly, but I didn't return the hold either.

"Thank Hyne you are safe! We had word about Adel's demise, and I feared the worst with you taking so long to arrive." Leaning back from his hug, Laguna looked directly into my eyes. "You should be ashamed to make us worry like that. What took you so long, son?"

"There was an unforeseen complication."

My father blinked in confusion before he stepped back from me and looked at Seifer for a closer examination. "Wait... I know this man. He belonged..." Dark green eyes snapped to my face, the shadow of suspicion painful for me to see. "Why have you brought the Queen's personal pet here?"

"He had nowhere else to go," I replied simply.

"And it's not like you to bring strays home," he said quietly, obviously not wanting Seifer to hear.

For some reason offended at hearing the shifter compared to a street animal, I glared at the man. "We've been traveling since sunrise, not to mention the past three weeks of riding here. This discussion can wait until morning."

His eyes widened vaguely before his lips formed an odd smile. "Forgive me. You both must be tired after all of that. Why don't you go to your chambers, and your guest can use any of the empty rooms next to yours. I have nothing planned tomorrow, so sleep in all you like. We can talk at length once you are well rested." Cupping his hands around my face, Laguna made me bow my head so that he could kissed my forehead. "Welcome home, my lost son. And thank you for your sacrifices."

Awkwardly, I nodded in reply.

"Good night, son. I'll see you tomorrow... or perhaps I should say 'later today'."

I nodded again in confirmation before I faced Seifer, the shifter obviously annoyed about something, but he was thankfully silent about the matter. I motioned for him to come with me as I left the large study and led the way to the wing of rarely used guest rooms.

"Are you ashamed of me?"

I wasn't surprised by the question asked in an angered tone. "He'd have me talking until dawn if I gave him the chance. It will best to explain everything when it isn't so late." Looking over at the blond, I added, "And I believe that I promised you a bed tonight."

Seifer stared at me with tired eyes, and then slowly smiled. "It better be a damn nice bed, too. I want to sleep until my ass stops hurting."

The walk to the always readied rooms was longer than I remembered, suggesting that I was more tired than I had realized. I wasn't certain what that implied about the shifter's current state, but he easily matched my stride without obvious struggle.

Reaching the first set of dark doors, I stopped there and place my hand against the cool wood. "You can sleep here."

Seifer glanced at the doors and then met my gaze once more. "And where are you sleeping?"

"The next door down the hall."

"Alright, then let's go there."

I sighed, half-expecting this argument. "You are free now. You get your own rooms."

Crossing his arms, Seifer straightened into a firm stance. "I'm unbelievably exhausted at this moment, so I'm not going to bother with subtlety or pride. You have destroyed my life and I'm fucking scared. Right now, you are the only thing that is familiar to me and I'm not going to sleep in some bed alone. Whether you like it or not, you are stuck with me."

I continued to silently examine the shifter after his admission of being afraid, something most people could never say without reducing themselves to excuses and whining. Seifer didn't weaken under my watchful eyes, and instead determinedly met my gaze.

After a time, I was the one to break eye contact as I turned sharply to walk the short distance down the hall to my rooms. The shifter hesitated before following me, his stride strengthening when I didn't turn him away. I entered the suite first, pleased to find our travel gear already delivered to these rooms. Leaving the bags there, I continued further into the suite in the direction of the bathroom. After quickly cleaning my face and hands with a towel wetted from water in a bucket, I dipped another towel into the cool water and moved into the joined bedroom, but I stopped after a few steps. Seifer had already removed his coat and shirt, his bared chest of golden-brown skin almost glowing in the soft light of surrounding lamps. He straightened after removing his shoes and thick socks, his green eyes brightening at the sight of me.

"Hey, is that cold?"

His voice woke me back into movement as I nodded and then stepped over to the shifter to hand him the wet towel. He quickly rubbed it against his neck, sighing at the touch of coldness as he arced back in bliss. I couldn't stop watching him as I resisted the need to reach out and feel his heated skin. Sharp green eyes glanced over at me, and his lips formed a knowing smirk.

"See something you like?"

My blood froze at the familiar tone of fake seduction, and I turned around to walk to the other side of the large bed. I grabbed a pillow and the top quilt, but before I could remove the heavy sheet, a hand was at my wrist with a strong grip. While I knew that I could easily break that hold, I didn't move and only stared at the interfering hand.

"What are you doing, Squall?"

"Don't ask if you know."

"Alright, then why?"

I shook my head, wondering why I should have to explain everything I do. "Let go."

"No." Seifer yanked at my arm, but failed to pull me onto the mattress. "Shit, how can a small guy like you be that strong?" he muttered before saying, "Listen, this is your fucking bed. If anyone should sleep on the floor, it's me for refusing my own room."

"You need the bed more than me."

The shifter paused before moving onto the mattress. "And why do you think I need it more?"

I sighed before meeting his gaze. "Because of your condition."

"And what's my condition?" he asked with a smirk while moving closer to me on his knees.

"You know," I said quietly, uncertain about the situation.

Seifer scoffed. "Of course I know why my body is temporarily fucked up, but I want you to say it."

"... You're pregnant."

"With?" he asked in a whisper while leaning in closer. His intention was obvious, but I couldn't make myself move away.

"My child," I barely replied before he pressed his lips against mine in a soft kiss, and then lightly licked my dry lips as he pulled back.

His face close to mine, Seifer looked directly into my eyes. "Come to bed, Squall."

I wanted to comment that it wasn't his place to order me around, but I easily saw the determination in those bright green eyes. Any argument at that point would have only kept us both from greatly needed sleep, and I could imagine myself ending up in this bed anyway. I knew when to choose my battles and this was one that simply held no gain.

I released my hold on the pillow and quilt so that I could remove my outer travel wear which would have been too warm to sleep in. As I readied for bed, Seifer moved back to the center of the large mattress and laid down to stretch out his lengthy body. Once comfortable, he rolled onto his side and purposefully watched me as I walked around the room to extinguish the lights. That task finished quickly, I moved onto the bed and attempted to set boundaries for the current situation by lying down at the near edge of the mattress with my back to the shifter.

A disappointed sigh sounded behind me. "Good night, then."

"... Good night, Seifer."

~ > < ~

Once again waiting in the study, I stood next to a window and stared out at the side garden filled with trees of new leaves and budding flowers. Watching that sign of the coming spring, I let my mind blank completely as I avoided thoughts which I didn't have the energy to analyze. I simply leaned against the window frame and stared at the beginning cycle of life.

After some time, the sound of footsteps on stone echoed in the large room and I turned my head to watch the entrance of Laguna and a second man of dark skin who walked at his side. The sight of the master swordsman made me smile vaguely.

"Squall," my father started in a scolding tone, "I thought I told you to sleep in."

"I did," I said while I pushed up from the wall and stepped forward to meet the two men.

Laguna took me into a strong, lasting hug. "Hyne, it feels so good to have you home at last."

I didn't reply, though I knew the man was desperately waiting for me to say the same. I simply couldn't lie to him like that.

When Laguna finally stepped away, Kiros quickly took my hand to pull me into hug with a fisted hand pressed hard against my back. The dark man said nothing, though. He was more logical than my father and understood my dislike of meaningless words. Once he stepped back, Kiros looked directly into my eyes and then nodded his head in a form of silent praise for my completed mission.

"Come and sit, the both of you," Laguna said while taking his favored chair. Kiros took the seat next to my father, while I sat on the worn couch to face the two older men. "Did you sleep well last night? After so many nights on the road, I'll bet it felt nice to be in a real bed again."

I nodded, trying to not think about waking to Seifer pressed tight against my body and my own traitorous arm wrapped around his broad shoulders. To think that I could sleep that way, and that I actually slept later than I had intended... it bothered me greatly.

Laguna sighed. "Very well, I won't attempt small talk for now, but we will speak of better things over breakfast." The longhaired man leaned forward in his seat and his dark green eyes took on a more serious gleam when he asked, "Did everything go according to plan?"

"More or less," I answered, and then I detailed the events in the warded room, though I omitted Seifer and his role completely from the short description.

"I knew she wouldn't destroy _Celestine's Tear_," Laguna stated with excitement. "She wouldn't give up the chance to destroy Edea like that. Do you still have it?"

I nodded, and then removed the pouch attached to my belt. Leaning forward, I handed the object to my father.

He opened the pouch reverently, his eyes widening at the revealed orb. "Blessed Hyne, it's still humming with her magic. She must have been difficult to entrap for her energy to still be active after so many weeks."

I shrugged, having no knowledge about the orb except for its purpose and how to activate it. The finer details meant nothing to me.

Smiling at the proof of the sorceress's ultimate demise, Laguna replaced the orb into its pouch and closed it tightly. "Excellent. You've done more than I could ever dream." He softly laughed in disbelief. "You've done more than anyone could imagine, to assassinate an 'immortal' sorceress without fear or hesitation. Finally, after so many years, your mother can rest in peace."

For some reason that final thought pained me. Perhaps it was because it meant nothing to me, that I only completed this mission because it was my one purpose in life. In my mind, it had little to do with my murdered mother, but I could never reveal that to my father. He placed too much of his heart into his need for revenge, and I wouldn't hurt him that way.

Leaning back into his chair, Laguna became serious once more. "But you have yet to explain this companion of yours."

"He had nowhere to go and... Seifer is pregnant."

Both men straightened in surprise at the comment, my father then asking, "Is that even possible?"

I shrugged. "He is a shape shifter and apparently their males can be impregnated."

"A-ah, I think I've read about it..." Laguna stated distractedly. "But I don't understand. What does that have to do with why you decided to take him under your protection?"

Before I could reply, Kiros groaned. "Are you that blind, Guna? The child must be Squall's as well."

Dark green eyes flew open at that and my father stared at me. "Is this true?"

I frowned at the accusation in his voice. "Seifer was ordered by Adel to have my heir. My replacement, as it were, if I died in the mission to assassinate Edea."

"Or perhaps a hostage to motivate you to accomplish such a dangerous task," Laguna suggested, something I had already considered as well. "Not to offend this man, but are you certain that he is truly pregnant? That this child is even yours?"

"Yes," I hissed out, irrational anger once again burning within me. I had no urge to explain my certainty about the matter, that before our first time, Seifer's eyes had changed color and shape given his more extreme emotions. His eyes glowing in the faint light of his chambers that night were awe-inspiring. But since then, his eyes haven't changed in the least. Afterward, during our run from the castle, I was mystified when every morning Seifer would stare at his hand and smile with relief. That was when I learned from the shifter that with pregnancy, his kind completely lose their ability to transform since the change in body function could threaten the growing child. Shortly after his explanation, I was struck by the sudden realization that Seifer had been checking to see if he had miscarried while riding horseback. Once I realized that, I was then tempted to ask him why he seemed relieved that he still bore my child, that he wasn't disgusted by the situation, but I couldn't. For the first time I could remember, I was afraid.

After studying me for a time, Laguna said, "May I ask you something personal?"

"... ..."

Taking my silence as acceptance, my father asked, "Are you concerned about this man's... Seifer's safety?"

"Of course," I replied, annoyed that I would have to state the obvious. "Why else would I bring the shifter here?"

Laguna nodded. "And is that because you love him?"

I stared at the longhaired man for the question, something that was a foreign thought for me.

With tired eyes, my father then asked, "Do you love me?"

After a hesitating moment, I shook my head. Not in refusal, but in the silent statement that I didn't know how to answer such a question.

Laguna smiled weakly while speaking to himself, "Raine will never forgive me for this." Then standing with a loud sigh, he held out a hand to me. "Don't worry about the questions of a foolish old man. Come, breakfast should be waiting for us by now."

"... I... I'm sorry..."

"Shhh, don't be. This is my fault," he stated before kissing my forehead. "You must be hungry, and that food will only get colder."

I let myself be dragged from the study, but I remained silent as we walked through the hallways. Laguna, on the other hand, spoke rapidly to Kiros as they discussed the repercussions of Adel's demise. Most importantly, they were concerned about who would fill in that vacuum of leadership. While Laguna speculated on various competent noblemen, I noticed how Kiros didn't offer any suggestions himself. I had my own suspicions about whom he imagined replacing the former ruler over the southern realms.

Once stepping into the dining room, I nearly ran into my father when he suddenly slowed his pace. As I stopped in place, he instead resumed his stride to the long table.

"Well, I guess we have one more for breakfast. Good morn, Seifer," Laguna said in a surprisingly cheerful voice.

I didn't move from my place at the doorway as my eyes locked onto the shifter's face. He was perplexed by my father's attitude, which was understandable given the rather poor reception the night previous. Hell, even I was confused by Laguna sudden decision to address the man directly.

Seifer stood up from his chair. "Sorry if I'm interrupting, but Mrs K--"

"A-ah, she sent someone to wake you for breakfast, did she?" Laguna asked while taking his seat at the head of the table. "I should warn you now, she's quite the tyrant about making certain everyone eats well. Sorry, I should have thought about that last night and told her to let you sleep."

The shifter shook his head. "I was already up," he said with a brief accusing glance in my direction. "And truthfully, I'm starved."

Laguna chuckled. "As you should be. Especially for a person in your condition."

Seifer looked in my direction with widened eyes. "You told him?"

I nodded, and then finally moved from my position at the doorway. As Kiros was already seated to Laguna's right, I sat to my father's left side and then motioned for Seifer to take the seat next to me. The blond smiled broadly at the offer and moved to that chair without hesitation.

Leaning in close to me, Seifer whispered directly into my ear. "Don't leave me again without saying a word."

"You were asleep," I reminded him.

"Doesn't matter," he stated while straightening in his chair.

At that moment, the doors from the kitchen opened wide as several servants carried in trays of food and pitchers of water and juice. There was no formality as the four of us selected food from the overly large plates filled with relatively simple dishes, at least compared to the dishes Kadowaki would have prepared if guests were present. While I took my time with the meal, Seifer wasn't nearly as reserved. The shifter ate like the food could be taken away from him at any moment, which could have been a true possibility under Adel's control.

"So, Seifer, how much have you heard about our family?" my father asked, the longhaired man smiling amused at the former slave.

After a sip of juice, he shook his head. "Nothing. I just found out last night that you're his father, which completely stunned me. I didn't believe Squall at first."

Laguna didn't hide his surprise at the statement. "Nothing? Then, my son didn't tell you about his background? Or about his purpose for infiltrating Adel's higher ranks?"

With an unreadable gaze, Seifer looked at me. "Squall didn't want to tell me. At first he said I had no role in it, and then for the past few weeks, he's been hiding behind his favorite phrase, that it doesn't matter."

I glared back at him, just barely resisting the urge to insist that it really didn't matter. The past was past, and everything had been finished. What use was there in talking about it?

"A-ah, I recognize that phrase well enough. But now I'm interested - you've only known Squall as 'the Storm of Death', a general who is responsible for thousands upon thousands of deaths. And yet you trust him enough to bear his child?"

I spoke in reply. "He had no choice."

My father hummed at the answer. "Perhaps, but I think I remember reading about shifters and their pregnancies. No, I'm nearly certain of it since I was intrigued by the theory that shifters could only be impregnated if they completely trusted their partners to protect them during such a helpless state."

I turned to Seifer, waiting to hear him laugh at my father for the romantic notion, but the large man only shrugged.

"I don't know if there's any truth to that. I wasn't exactly old enough to learn anything before I became a slave. But I do trust Squall, if that's what you want to know." Then grinning without shame, he added, "How could I not like a guy who always spoils me?"

I looked away sharply from the man, only to notice the interested and amused gazes of both Laguna and Kiros. Feeling oddly trapped, I stared down at my plate, but I no longer felt like eating.

"Well, since my son is being typically closemouthed, would you like to hear the story from me?"

After a moment of staring at me and coming to the decision that he may never hear about it otherwise, Seifer looked to my father and nodded.

Before Laguna could start, I warned the man, "Keep it short."

With a weak laugh, my father asked, "I don't ramble on that much, do I?"

"Yes," Kiros and I said at the same moment, him far more amused about the fact than myself.

Laguna laughed hard at our response. "Alright, alright, but what's wrong with indulging in a good story?"

"Takes too long," I muttered.

Smiling far too innocently, my father said, "I'll try to restrain myself then." After a sip of water, Laguna sat back in his chair. "Well, the best place to start would probably be with my first wife - Raine Roussel. It was an arranged marriage, and I'm not ashamed to say that it was awkward at first, but I fell deeply in love with the kindhearted woman. She was full of life and wit, and she never held back on any opportunity to tease me. But her opinionated nature quickly brought her to the attention of Adel.

"Without going into too much detail," Laguna said while eyeing me, "Raine suddenly became weak and ill after a brief meeting with the sorceress. And it was shortly after that when we learned she was also pregnant. The pregnancy was hard for the small woman, but Raine fought for the life of our son. It would be impossible to put words to her determination to defeat the spell placed on her, but her body wasn't as strong as her heart and Squall was born by a doctor's knife."

Pausing in a moment of silence, Laguna took a deep breath and continued to say, "I decided that moment that Adel had to be removed from this world. While Raine was my selfish reason, the sorceress had been the source of too much pain and fear in this world. I wanted to end it as much as Raine did, but I wasn't arrogant enough to believe that I was capable of defeating a sorceress who was rumored to be immortal. And so, I placed my hopes on my newborn son. Once I decided upon that path, I knew that any son of mine would be suspicious to Adel, and for that reason, a funeral was held for both Raine and our supposedly unnamed son.

"Since that day, Squall was hidden away, and eventually was considered nothing more than a servant's son in the estate he should have inherited. Once old enough, Kiros taught him how to wield a weapon while Ward, another dear friend of mine, taught him battle strategy and how to fight with only his hands. While I tried to limit contact with my son, I couldn't resist tutoring him. How I loved those hours spent in the study with only the two of us - it was the only time I could treat him like my son. And then, when he was of age, he joined Adel's army under the name Squall Leonhart."

I sighed loudly in the sign that the longhaired man was taking too long to tell the simple story and I took the lead. "In short, I worked myself through the ranks while my father researched the old legends until discovering _Celestine's Tear_. I learned how to activate it, and then I waited for the opportunity to find the orb and use it. That's it. You know the rest."

Seifer laughed at my attempt to quickly sum everything up. "Now wait a moment. _Celestine's Tear_? Is that the white stone she gave you?"

"May I answer?" my father asked, knowing that I understood little about the orb. At my surrendering grunt, Laguna began to happily explain, "Well, the immortality of sorceresses isn't a fable. Their power somehow strengthens their spirits such that even if their bodies die, their soul can travel to another suitable body. Adel is proof to how long a sorceress may live with records of her tyranny dating centuries back. Though you should know that there are benevolent sorceresses as well. For instance, there is Edea Kramer of the northern realms, and in the long past there was Celestine. She poured her power and soul into that orb to grant magicless humans the ability to defend themselves against sorceresses. But reading about the artifact, I learned it went missing after a knight attempted to use it against Adel.

"Now, it was my theory that Adel kept the artifact for the chance to use it against Edea. But a sorceress cannot activate _Celestine's Tear_ without risking her own soul. For that reason, I knew Adel would enlist someone, but given the powers of the orb, it had to be someone she could trust for both loyalty and skill. And so, Squall became the dark knight who followed her every order with her preferred taste of cruelty. Meanwhile, I played the role of making his deeds infamous among those in the nobility, which also helped to gain him favor under Adel. Though I'm surprised she decided to enlist Squall's aid so quickly. I didn't think it would be for years yet."

Seifer breathed a laugh. "She was afraid. She knew Edea was planning something, but none of her spies could figure out those plans. I guess she was looking in the wrong place."

"A-ah, Edea has been anxious as well," Laguna said while nodding. "She's been tired of the pain the war has caused between the two realms, and she wasn't certain about Squall's loyalty after so much time under Adel's command. Given Edea herself trained Squall to resist the mind reading abilities of sorceresses, as well as taught him the method to activate _Celestine's Tear_, she's been more than nervous." Meeting my eyes with unhidden fondness, he added, "While I was never worried about your loyalty, I wasn't certain that I would see you again after the assassination."

It was hard to meet that gaze, but I wasn't surprised that my father had guessed the hatred I held for my sins and my life. Perhaps Seifer was an attempt to make up for something, but that deed was tainted by my desire for him. It was pathetic.

"Squall...?"

I couldn't look at the shifter as I stood up abruptly. "I'm going out." Before Laguna or Seifer could stand, I said, "I'll be back. I just... need some air."

I left the table quickly, barely catching my father's words to the shifter that he shouldn't worry and that I typically enjoy riding horses to clear my mind. I didn't care how weak I must have appeared to the men at the table. I suddenly felt numb, as if I were beyond caring about anything. As I walked to the stables, I wondered which was worse - the unnerving numbness or the burn of deeply seeded pain that I could still feel despite that deadened sensation.

~ > < ~

It was late when I had finally returned Ember to her stall and rubbed her down before returning to the main house. Walking through the empty and dark halls of the mansion helped to maintain my mood, but I knew that it wouldn't last. And a part of me didn't want the numbness to remain. I just wanted it to end.

Reaching the doors to my chambers, I wasn't surprised by the glow of light from below the dark wood. Still, I hesitated before opening the door and stepping inside. Not finding anyone in the front room, I sighed and locked the door behind me before I walked to the bedroom. I slowed to a stop at the doorway to that back room, and leaning against the wooden frame, I smiled softly at the sight of Seifer sitting on the floor against the bed with his head lulled to the side in sleep. Bastard. He knew I wouldn't let him sleep like that.

With quiet steps, I approached the man and knelt down in front of him. After first allowing myself a brief touch of soft golden hair, I placed my hand at his shoulder and shook him gently. Green eyes snapped open at the action, the immediate fear in them quickly fading once his eyes focused on me. Placing a hand on his neck, he massaged the unsurprisingly sore muscles.

"Shit, what took you so fucking long? Now my ass hurts again."

I can't stop my smile at his tired grumbling. "You should've gone to bed."

"And miss you? Never." With a grunt, Seifer pushed himself up from the floor and stretched out noisily. "Though next time, using a pillow could be a better idea."

I stood up, bewildered that he was already thinking about the next time, and then I felt irritated that he was making me feel guilty about it. But before I could say anything, he turned to crawl up onto the mattress and pull down the sheets.

"Get the lights, won't you?"

I stared at him for a moment, briefly considering that it would be safer to escape my chambers tonight, but I didn't want to leave. And so, I walked around the room to extinguish the few lamps that had been lit. I then slowly removed my sweat and dust covered clothes in exchange for clean sleepwear. I moved over to the bed and tried to take the same position as the night before, but Seifer obviously had other ideas and wasn't going to let me stop him. With some effort, he coaxed me to roll over and face him as his arms wrapped loosely around my back. Convincing myself that I couldn't get comfortable otherwise, I placed an arm around his waist.

"You were going to kill yourself."

I stiffened at the statement, but I couldn't reply.

"When you stood over my Mis... When you stood over Adel, with that knife in your hand, you were going to take your own life, weren't you?"

My breaths grew faster, more shallow as I thought about that moment. That moment I was so close to freedom.

"But you didn't." His arms tightened around my back, pulling me slightly closer to him. "Was it for me?"

"... You wouldn't have been safe there. Anyone..._ anyone _could have taken claim of you... and enslaved you again... and hurt you... and..." My thoughts were running faster than words could match, and I couldn't stop the imagery of Seifer being beaten and raped by any man who wanted the “prized pet” for himself.

"Squall...? Are you--"

Furious at emotions trying to escape my hold, I pushed at the larger man's chest in a weak attempt to escape, but Seifer wouldn't release me and I wasn't able to use my full strength against the shifter. Feeling overwhelmed and defeated, I let my body go limp as I pressed a hand against my face and forced myself to take long, deep breaths.

"Squall..." My name was whispered soothingly before a large hand stroked back in my hair and soft lips pressed against my forehead.

I recoiled from his touch. "Don't. Please don't. I've killed... I've murdered again and again. I don't... deserve this anymore."

Seifer laughed lightly. "You don't deserve the touch of a slave? A nonhuman sex slave at that? Gods, you're really fucked up if you actually believe that."

"You don't understand."

"Hn, maybe not, but you don't know Adel like I do. If you hadn't killed those people, someone else would have. And frankly, they were probably lucky to have you kill them instead of people like Biggs and Wedge. You killed quickly and cleanly, while they preferred rape and torture as a form of entertainment."

Unable to speak louder than a whisper, I told him, "That means nothing."

"... Have you ever been tortured, Squall?"

My eyes widened at the question spoken in an emotionless tone.

"Have you ever seen your own intestines being pulled from your body? Or what about rape? Have you had a grime covered cock shoved down your throat, choking and nauseating you at the same moment? Do you even know half the things people can do to make sex the most unpleasant thing you have ever experienced?"

"... no..."

"Then don't tell me that granting someone a merciful death means nothing."

There was no reply for such a statement, but while it did help to calm my emotions back under my control, I still didn't allow myself to believe that my sins could be forgiven. "I'm not a good person."

Sighing, Seifer loosened his hold and moved back to look me in the eyes. "When I was a child, there was a time when I was afraid to change my shape. I thought that I would no longer be myself if I shifted into a man or a girl or anything that wasn't me." He closed his eyes and smiled fondly. "Eventually my mother sat me down, gave me a piece of my favorite candy, and then told me that no matter what form I take, one thing would always remain the same - my heart. Nothing could change it, and for that reason, I'll always be able to return to my true form. I'll always be me."

He moved one of his arms to slide beneath my shirt and placed his warm hand against my chest. "You became the dark knight, forcing yourself to play that role to get close to Adel. But all this time, your heart has remained unchanged." Leaning in close, he pressed his forehead against mine. "It's time, Squall. It's time to take your intended form."

"I... I can't. I don't even know what that is," I said in a bare whisper.

"You will," Seifer replied, moving his hand to once again wrap around my back, but under my shirt instead, depriving me of the barrier of cloth to protect me from his heated touch. "Just stop trying to fight it."

For a long time after that, there was only silence until the shifter's breaths turned into his soft snores of deep sleep. And still, I continued to lay there in his comforting arms while I tried to understand his words. I wanted so desperately to believe him, but the greater part of me demanded that I no longer had the right to live. And yet... I placed a careful hand at the man's stomach, wondering if this could be my penance for so many lost lives. Or was that just a selfish, hopeful thought on my part?

"... n-nh, Squa-all... there..."

I glanced up at the mumbled words, and I was amused by the incredibly lecherous grin of the larger man. Carefully I moved closer to the shifter, and then I lightly kissed the heated skin exposed from his shirt collar before I rested my head against his shoulder.

"Help me," I pleaded in a whisper, but there was no response from the unconscious man. And so, with a bitter laugh at my foolishness, I closed my eyes for sleep.

{Continued}


	3. Chapter 3

[Seifer]

As I hurried to put on my robe, there was the rather satisfying sound of fleeing footsteps down the corridor and away from the chambers I shared with Squall. Even so, the anger burning within me wasn't close to being sated, and so I rushed after the fool woman. I wasn't certain what I would do if I caught up to her, but having the chance to act out my anger for once wasn't a freedom I was going to waste.

With my long, quick stride, I soon reached the open entrance hall of the mansion. It was a simple case to follow the sounds of loud sobbing and whining from there, which then led me to the main sitting room. Once I stepped through the open doors, a squeal sounded from the small woman, but I was forced to stop in place and simply glare at her as she clung onto to Laguna in overdone fear.

"Please, my Lord. Protect me from that... that _monster_."

The longhaired man frowned at her in confusion, and then glanced up at me with only question in his eyes. It was almost strange that he didn't automatically accuse me. I was accustomed to my word meaning shit compared to others, but I should have known that no one in the Loire household considered me a slave. Then again, I wasn't feeling very rational at that moment.

I did nothing but glare at the dark-haired woman, so it was a surprise when a cool hand settled on my arm. Reluctantly, my heated anger began to falter at that calming presence.

"What's wrong?" Squall asked in his soft, neutral fashion.

"That fucking _bitch_ offered me a potion to get rid of the 'demon' within me," I growled out, using my rage to will away the tears that threatened to flow.

Directly after my words, the midwife yelled shrilly, "He _attacked_ me."

"If you think a slap is something terrible, just wait until I--"

"Seifer," Squall interrupted quietly. "Come sit down."

"I don't want to sit," I hissed out while still glaring at the woman, wishing that I could advance on her, but I knew the brunet's hold on me would hold me back.

With a deep sigh, Squall stepped in front of me and forced me to look down into his eyes. Gazing into the pale blue orbs may always be my undoing, and unfortunately the dark-haired man knew how to abuse my weaknesses. With little effort on his part, he led me to a nearby sofa and I was soon seated stiffly next to him with my arm wrapped tight around his waist.

Clearing his throat, Laguna gently pried the midwife away from him. "Now, what is this 'demon' business? I thought you were familiar with pregnancies of shifters, as well as other nonhumans."

"I am," the woman stated with pride. "But I thought, given the father..."

"What about the father?" Laguna asked, sincerely curious.

In a hushed whispered which still reached across the room, the woman said, "You must have heard the rumors, my Lord. That... that _devil_ is a plague on this world. I've heard that he has been seen drinking the blood of innocents to increase his strength. There's no telling what type of unnatural offspring he would sire."

The old man stiffened at the words, his typically warm eyes taking on a pained gleam. "I see. Well, thank you for coming, but I don't think your services will be required again. You can collect your fee from Evans."

"But my Lord--"

"Leave, and don't speak of this to anyone," Laguna said sharply, the underlining threat a surprising one to me.

With widened eyes, the midwife stepped away with a quiet, "Yes, my Lord. Thank you."

Once the woman had left, the longhaired man sighed before looking to his son. "Squall..."

The brunet smiled softly at the worried voice. "Do you think that I haven't heard the rumors associated with me?"

Shaking his head, Laguna said, "No, but I thought... I always believed that once you had completed your mission, that when you had returned home, you would be able to live apart from that other life."

"It's what I am," Squall said quietly.

"It's what you were," I corrected with annoyance. "Anyway, I don't see why I need a fucking midwife. I know I'm pregnant and I think I can figure out if I feel like shit without someone else telling me. Heaven knows that I would have been better off without that bitch ruining my day."

With a familiar fond smile at me, the old man said, "I'm only looking out for your health, as well as the health of my first grandchild. Given your background, we can't be certain..."

Though Laguna continued to ramble on, the man's voice faded out to my hearing as I sensed... something which made my skin itch. The pace of my heartbeats and breaths quickened before I could identify the source of my instinctual fear - an aura of magic was approaching. A strong one, but not quite the same as I remembered it.

"Seifer...?"

"She's coming," I whispered in disbelief before I moved my arms to cover my stomach.

Instantly Squall was standing and a long dagger was drawn such that it was held in front of me. Some of my fear left me as I glanced up his lean body to his face, but seeing his determined expression, shame quickly replaced my fear. I hated being this weak when the smaller human was always so strong. Frowning at my mental whining, I forced myself to stand up tall at Squall's side. He glanced over at me briefly, a slight smile appearing on his lips before he faced the entrance once more.

Soon after, a woman of long black hair strode into the room, her elegant gown flowing as she walked with the unnatural grace of a sorceress. At first sight, I swore my fallen Mistress had come back to life, and my mind became empty when I tried to consider what I could do to protect the child within me. Filling that void, numerous scenarios of my coming punishment flooded out any other possible thoughts.

"Edea, I didn't realize that you were coming."

I blinked as Laguna happily approached the fair skinned woman. Meanwhile, Squall exhaled softly in relief before he relaxed and placed his dagger back into its leather scabbard. I wanted to yell at him for being so foolish, but eventually my logical side remembered the name my Mistress once cursed from evening until dawn without pause. Even so, I couldn't relax until Squall moved such that his arm pressed discreetly against mine.

Oblivious to the previous tension, the sorceress smiled at being hugged tightly by Laguna. "Forgive me for not sending word first, but with the current state of things, I thought secrecy was best."

"You know that you are always welcomed here," Laguna said before stepping back. "How have you been?"

"I'm doing well. While there is still much to be done, my heart feels light once more with the end to this meaningless war." The sorceress then glanced over to Squall. "I have been eager to thank you for handling Adel."

The brunet offered no reply, not even a nod to the woman.

Confused and somewhat hurt by his silence, the woman softly cleared her throat before looking to me with golden brown eyes. "Oh my, are you a shifter?"

"What does that matter to you?" I asked sharply, my confidence returned with Squall's relaxed stance in the presence of this sorceress.

Before the dark-haired woman voiced a reply, she was interrupted by the hurried entrance of a lovely young woman with golden hair tied back in a painfully tight bun and blue eyes hidden behind small, unnecessary glasses. I couldn't hold back my smile at the sight of the long-forgotten friend who apparently hadn't lost her serious nature over the years.

"Quisty?"

Startled by her name being called, the blonde first looked to Squall, but then glanced my way with widened blue eyes. "It couldn’t… Seifer...?"

With four long strides, I had the woman tight in my hold. "Shit, Quisty, I thought you were dead when that one greasy bastard never brought you around again."

Quistis pulled back slightly to look at me with moist eyes. "Edea saved me along with a few others. But you... how did you survive that horrid witch all these years? And what are you doing here?"

I ignored her first question, truly not knowing how I lived through years of torment. "Quisty, I'm pregnant."

She blinked, and then covered her mouth in shock. "Not by one of those..."

"Thank the Gods, no. I actually want this parasite living within me." I glanced over to Squall and was momentarily stunned by the icy eyes focused on us. "The truth is that the child belongs to that moody guy standing right there."

"Oh... Oh, that's good," Quistis replied while slipping out of my hold. The sincerity in her voice was severely lacking, but I didn't have the chance to question her before Laguna spoke up.

"That reminds me. Edea, you have an excellent relationship with shifters. Do you happen to know any experienced midwives who we could call upon? I'm worried--"

"_No_," I interrupted before the dense idiot could continue. "I don't want any other person to come near me and talk shit about Squall and our child."

The sorceress frowned slightly. "But it would be wise to have someone nearby in the case there are complications. Especially with this being a male pregnancy."

"I don't give a shit. I'm _fine_."

"Seifer..."

I turned sharply to face Squall. "Don't you start, too. I'm perfectly healthy, damn it."

He smiled softly. "I know, but it's time for your snack."

Holding back a growl, I glared at him for the patronizing comment. "I'm not hungry."

"And I want to keep it that way. You know you'll end up sick for the rest of the day if I let you get hungry."

I hesitated in thought, surprised and annoyed to discover that he was right. "When did you noticed this?"

Squall didn't reply, and instead placed his hand on my arm. "Mrs K got in fresh peaches earlier this afternoon."

The mention of peaches instantly made me think of my childhood, that being the last time I was able to enjoy ripe peaches which my mother would slice and feed me by hand. Remembering those peaceful times and the taste of sweet nectar, I was skillfully distracted to the point that Squall was able to drag me out of the room without effort. I didn't even notice the change in scenery until I heard the door close and the sound of muffled voices restarting a discussion behind me.

Stopping in place, I scowled at the smaller man. "Stop playing around with my fucked up mind, Squall. They're going to try to decide something without me, and I'm serious, I don't want another person touching my body."

He sighed quietly before meeting my gaze. "Laguna only wants to help... and I don't won't this pregnancy to harm you."

"It won't," I told him as my lips formed a smile at the concern clear in his voice. "And I guess... if you really want this, I might be able to tolerate it."

"Thank you," he whispered with relief.

"I want a kiss in payment, though," I added quickly.

Something akin to fear shown in the pale blue eyes, but I knew it wasn't directed at me. Though I had been sharing his bed for two months, Squall was still afraid to touch me. At first it was endearing that he thought I was someone who could be tainted by his bloodstained hands, but then it became frustrating to me both mentally and physically. While he wouldn't knock away my touch, he also never thought that I wanted him to touch me back. In truth, I wanted so much - his hands and lips on my skin, his body firm against mine... I wanted to be fucked as much as I wanted to fuck him, but unfortunately, I was trained to keep my deepest desires a secret for fear of them being used against me. It was a hard habit to break.

For long moments, Squall simply stared at me, almost pleading me to tell him that I was joking. I, of course, offered no such assurance to the smaller man when I bent down a bit to make it easier for him to reach me.

Eventually he surrendered with a drawn-out breath. He leaned up to gently brush his lips against mine, then retreated slightly with the vague hope to see if that would satisfy me, but he knew better than that. His softer lips were against mine once more with added pressure as he kneaded the sensitive flesh together. I wanted to reach out and pull him closer to me, but I kept my hands to myself as I forced Squall to continue his clumsy lead. It didn't take long for my patience to win out as a cool hand settled at my neck and began to massage gently as he became more daring with the kiss by adding a soft bite to my lower lip.

I couldn't stop the sudden rumbling from my throat, the sound of my purr mortifying me for the first time in months. Squall broke the kiss, but he didn't move back far as I could still feel his breath against my heated skin. And then he laughed. It wasn't loud or hurtful as most laughter can be, but instead it was a heartfelt laugh which few have heard from the dark knight.

Without warning, Squall then resumed the kiss, but he didn't hold the same reserve as before. When his other hand moved to the back of my head, I had achieved my goal of getting him to hold me first, and thus I was able to grab onto the lithe man with one of my hands buried deep into his thick hair and my other pressed against the small of his back to bring him closer. For once, Squall didn't resist my attempt to move him. Instead he groaned softly before he nudged his tongue against mine in a silent demand to deepen the kiss. He tasted amazing, his touch was maddening... and then, somehow, he slipped out of my hold.

"We should go... to the kitchen," he stated lamely while glancing to the side.

"Can't something be delivered to our rooms?" I asked roughly, resisting the need to grab onto the smaller man again.

Sighing, Squall looked up at me, the gray of his eyes glowing like silver with their inner heat. "My father will be looking for us soon."

And that was all he said before he walked in the direction of the kitchen. No promise for something later, no word about the shared moment, no fucking apology for getting me aroused... And sadly I voiced none of that frustration as I followed his lead. Instead, my thoughts were already trailing off to the idea of fresh peaches and the desire to lick sweet nectar from the skin of the dark knight.

~ > < ~

In the secluded section of the private study, I tried to find a seated position on the couch which would be both comfortable and respectable. But in the end, I conceded to the pathetic reality that I would look ridiculous with my small rounded stomach no matter the position, so I settled with my sprawled out way of sitting. Funny how I enjoyed the idea of pregnancy much more before my body began to change against my will.

In short time, the old man appeared from behind the bookshelves and flashed a warm smile at me before he took his usual seat. "Sorry to keep you waiting, but my talk with Edea lasted longer than I thought it would."

I smirked, accustomed to Laguna forgetting the flow of time while in the middle of his talks. "It's fine. This should be quick if you need to get back to her."

He waved a hand at the comment. "We haven't covered much new ground in the past couple months, and with her watching over your pregnancy, we will have plenty more opportunities to speak about politics in the future. For now, my time is yours, so there is no need to rush. And I must admit, I'm curious about what you wanted to discuss with me in such secrecy."

It took some effort to not move my eyes from his overly interested gaze. "I... have a favor to ask."

"Of course. Anything you need, dear boy."

"It's not something I _need_, really, but... I wanted to get a particular necklace..."

Laguna's expression shifted to something thoughtful, but he didn't reply. And silence from that man was something I figured had to be a bad sign.

"I know I have no money, but I'll do anything--"

"You wish to marry my son," the old man said, his tone eerily calm and confident. His guess might have surprised me if I hadn't already known about the great interest he took in any books concerning my kind ever since I arrived at the Loire Manor.

"It's not really marriage..." I corrected him as my eyes drifted downward to stare at my arm wrapped loosely around my swollen midsection.

"Hmmm, and what metal did you want for this choker?"

"Silver," I replied without hesitation.

Laguna laughed in his carefree manner as he stood up from his chair. "It might as well be considered marriage if that's your choice."

Feeling insulted for no real reason, I scowled and refused to meet the old man's gaze until he forced the point by placing his hand under my chin. The dark green eyes held such warmth whenever I dared to meet his open expression. It was disturbing.

"I'll get you the choker, but only if you promise me something in return."

"And what's that?" I asked, briefly remembering the types of services I was accustomed to doing in return for “favors”.

"Continue to bring happiness into Squall's life," he stated seriously despite the ridiculous message.

"As if I need to promise that," I muttered angrily as I knocked away his hand. I then pushed up from the couch and forced the shorter man to move out of my way. "I better go. Squall is probably having a fit since I missed lunch. Just let me know when you get the damned thing."

Laguna smiled. "Remind my son that you're both supposed to join us for dinner. Liles wasn't happy that the two of you didn't show last night."

"Right, right," I said while making my way to the exit. "I'll try to refrain from puking all over Squall today, even though it was _so_ much fun yesterday."

There was quiet laughter behind me as I escaped the study and headed directly for the chambers I shared with Squall. The hallways were blissfully quiet as I walked with unhurried steps through the wide corridors. After most of my life trapped in the Queen’s castle, it was reviving to travel through these halls filled with light.

Abruptly that peace was broken by the sounds of high-pitched squealing and loud footsteps on stone. Knowing what was coming, I wisely stopped in place before the small mass of whiteness could trip me by attaching onto my legs. Unable to hide a smile even in mock anger, I glanced down at the young girl and placed my hand on top of her head.

"And what game are you playing this time, little one?"

Green eyes bright, Paige placed a finger to her redden lips. "Shhh, a tiger is coming."

A young boy then jumped out from an adjoining hallway and proceeded to roar as best he could. The smaller girl squealed in mock fear and quickly ran around me and headed off in the direction of the entrance hall. Laughing, Liles winked at me before he roared again and ran after his younger sister.

I shook my head as I watched the energetic kids disappear around the turn. It was hard to believe that they were half-brother and sister to the dour man I've found myself attached to. With the winter season ended weeks ago, Laguna's second wife returned to the Loire mansion with their two children eager to see their father once more. To my surprise, Liles knew about his older brother and he was ecstatic when he was told that Squall was staying for good. After much prodding, I learned from Squall that he saved his little brother from a dangerous kidnapping situation several years back. Though only five at the time, Liles still remembered the whole event and he obviously worshipped his savior. While hating such devote attention, Squall had gentle hand when it came to his siblings. And by their mother's expression, I had a feeling few others had his same ability to calm the duo.

Placing a hand at my rounded stomach, I felt lighthearted as I continued my journey to the comfort of the small suite. It didn't take me long to travel the rest of the distance, though my lower back was starting to ache from walking around too much. A vague smile came to my lips as I wondered how much coaxing it'd take to get Squall to give me a much deserved massage.

Reaching the room, I paused in front of the closed doors when I heard someone speaking from within. The deep voice was familiar, though I couldn't identify it directly. More so, I was confused by someone talking to Squall in our private rooms. Before I had time to think about it, there were sounds of struggles from inside. Startled, I opened the door without thought of how I could help Squall in my current state, but that became a moot point when I saw the scene inside.

"What the hell...?"

At my bewildered voice, Squall looked up sharply as wide, panic-stricken eyes met mine. His lips parted in surprise, but nothing was said to explain the situation at hand. Meanwhile, the man trapped beneath the dark knight didn't move an inch for fear of the long dagger pressed against his throat. As I stared dumbly at the prone man of short blond hair and green eyes, I frowned at the realization that I looked worse than I thought with my potbellied stomach. I then shook my head to get rid of the distracting thoughts.

"What the fuck is going on here?" I growled out, mostly at the person who dared to take my form.

"Seifer...? You're..."

Though the wary tone of the brunet concerned me, I managed a confident front. "Yeah, it's me. I was just talking with your father."

Blue-gray eyes turned to ice before Squall looked down at his captive. Pressing the tip of the dark blade against the exposed throat, the dark knight spoke in a soft but threatening voice. "Change."

With a careful swallow, the man spoke in my voice. "But Squall--"

Squall stopped him with a press of the blade. "No more lies."

A pained expression crossed the man's face before his body shifted forms. I suppose it shouldn't have been a surprise to see the young woman taking shape within the clothing too big for her, but still... it wasn't like her to do something so stupid. Recognizing the woman beneath him, Squall quickly pushed himself off the ground and staggered back several steps.

In a growled tone, I spoke to the woman. "Quisty... what are you doing?"

Attempting to maintain her dignity, the blonde stood up gracefully from the ground. After a glance at Squall, she turned and approached me with an unreadable expression.

I never saw the slap coming.

"How dare _you_ ask _me _what I'm doing," she said as tears began to slide down her face. "I knew Squall first. I knew about his pain long before you ever saw him. Why are you using him like this?"

After a stunned moment, I laughed. "What, you think I got myself pregnant to force Squall to take me in?"

"Don't mock me, Seifer!"

"Gods, and that's what you were trying to do, weren't you? You wanted Squall to get you pregnant and force him to decide between us. You poor little slut. He's not an easy one to seduce, is he?"

The second slap was easily anticipated as I grabbed the offending hand and yanked the blonde close. Clutching onto her long strands of hair, I forced her to meet my eyes when I spoke to her in a low, casual voice.

"If you ever touch Squall again, I will rip out your heart. Understood?"

Her tear reddened eyes narrowed in anger, but I could see the message had gotten across crystal clear. Not waiting for a verbal reply, I proceeded to toss the woman out of the room and then slammed the door shut before locking it tight. Sighing, I turned and faced the silent man who had yet to move from his position.

"Squall..."

The brunet jumped at my voice and promptly dropped his dagger to the ground. Raking a shaky hand back through his hair, he stared at the fallen blade and slowly retreated until he was pressed against the wall.

"Hey, are you all right? Did the bitch do something to you?"

Pale blue eyes didn't look up from the dagger. "I attacked you..."

With a quiet sigh, I carefully approached him. "No, she accosted you in my form. She deserved what she got."

He shook his head. "I hurt you..."

Stopping in place, I said, "Look at me, Squall. Tell me if you see any cuts or bruises on me."

Hesitantly, he moved his gaze from the floor to examine the length of my body, pausing once at the swell of my stomach. In time he focused on my eyes, but doubt was still clear in his expression.

"It wasn't me with you earlier. You knew that despite what your eyes told you, and you reacted. How can you blame yourself for that?"

Shields appeared in the blue-gray eyes before Squall took a step forward with renewed steadiness. I didn't move as he closed the remaining space between us. His cooler gaze focused on my face, he placed a hand at my cheek. After carefully rubbing something from my eye, he moved his hand down such that calloused fingertips ran along my jawbone. The hand then dropped went further such that his long fingers wrapped around my throat with his thumb pressed against my Adam's apple.

When I didn't react to added pressure against my throat, his dark eyebrows scrunched in thought. "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

I smirked at his expression. "Oh, trust me, I'm terrified of you. I just happen to love you more than I fear you."

His eyes widened at the simple declaration.

"I know you don't believe that, but... what can I do to prove myself to you?" I asked quietly as I placed my hand on his. "I would do anything. Just tell me what you want."

"What I want..." he repeated distractedly while lightly stroking his thumb along my throat. Eventually his lips twitched into a shadow of a smile before he said tiredly, "I want to lie down."

His answer initially disappointed me as he pulled his hand away from my neck, but then I felt his other hand take a hold of mine. With an oddly coy gleam to the man's eyes, Squall led me to the back room and the awaiting bed. I was motioned to lie down on the large mattress first, and once I was comfortable, the smaller man crawled onto the bed to join me. But to my surprise, he settled lower such that his head rested on the mound of my stomach and his cool hand was placed on the underside of the bulge as his thumb stroked gently at exposed skin.

"Does this hurt you?"

I frowned at his cautious question, then realizing that I had gone tense from the unusual actions of the man. Relaxing with a chuckle, I placed a hand at the juncture of his neck and shoulder. "You're good. Don't move."

There were no more words for a time, and in the lasting silence, I reluctantly closed my eyes when the urge to sleep became harder to resist. Not wanting to drift off, I focused on the cool skin beneath my hand and decided massage the tight muscles. Though tensing at first, Squall quickly relaxed under my touch. It was a peaceful moment as we dozed on our bed and an occasional soft breeze came through an opened window.

"You were supposed to be safe."

I opened my eyes and looked down at the mess of dark hair. "I am safe. You've made certain of that."

"You don't understand..."

"Then make me understand."

After a pause, he moved his arm to wrap it around my waist. "I needed someone who could be safe around me. You were the one I swore that would never kill or harm, even if Adel ordered it."

I was stunned into momentary silence. "But... what about your father?"

A bitter laugh sounded. "Adel despised him, so I've always been prepared to assassinate him, just as he expected to die by my blade."

There was nothing I could say in reply to such words, so instead I brushed my fingers through thick hair... fingers of the hand Squall prevented from being severed despite the high potential of angering Adel. "Did I ever thank you for saving my hand?"

Squall huffed. "You still don't understand. I promised myself that I wouldn't hurt you, but just now... it was so easy to place a blade at your throat."

I couldn't stop my laugh. "If it was so easy to do, then why are you killing yourself over this? For the last time, you knew that it wasn't me. And for the record, your blade didn't break skin until I walked in and proved to you that something wasn't right."

After a quiet moment, the dark knight sat up and looked down at me with softened eyes. "How do you that?"

"Hmm? Do what?"

"Make the guilt go away."

I smiled lazily at the brunet. "Because I'm smarter than you. I know that there are few things in this world which are worth worrying about. You simply angst too much."

Showing me a faint smile, he slowly leaned down and brushed his lips against the corner of my mouth in a gentle kiss. "Thank you," he whispered against my heated skin.

Before he could move away, I placed my hand at the back of his head and held him in place. "There are better ways to show your eternal gratitude to me."

Leaning in close once more, Squall spoke such that his lips grazed along the rim of my ear. "Show me."

* * *

[Squall]

Finishing the last line of the chapter, I lowered the book to glance down at the blond resting on my thigh. I wasn't certain when my hand moved to stroke the recently cut hair, but I couldn't make myself stop touching the golden softness.

"Seifer, I think it's time you went to bed."

Like a child, the large man groaned irritably and pouted without opening his eyes. "After one more chapter."

"You were practically asleep for the last chapter. Go to bed. You'll be more comfortable there."

Seifer shifted to rest more on his back as he rubbed a hand over his heavily pregnant stomach. "But the little one settles down when you read. Can't you give me just one more hour of peace? I mean, since it _is_ your fault and all."

Shaking my head, I closed the book and set it on the end table. "Bed. Now."

He growled out a curse before he swung his legs to the edge of the couch in the attempt to sit up. After I helped him straighten, he settled into a seated sprawl and looked down at the expanse of stomach. "Do you think I'm ugly?"

"No," I stated simply while placing a hand over his. While the question had caught me off guard the first time Seifer had uttered it weeks ago, I came to understand that after a life of entertaining people with his various forms, his outer appearance meant a great deal to the shifter. Especially when, in many cases, it was why he was allowed to live another day.

Not appearing comforted by my answer, Seifer bit at his lower lip in obvious distress.

Moving my hand to his cheek, I made him look at me. "What's wrong?"

Green eyes hesitantly met my gaze. "It's nothing..."

I hummed at the response I didn't believe for a moment.

"Really, nothing is wrong. It's just... I have something for you, and... and I'm being stupid." Sighing loudly, Seifer leaned back to pull something out from his pocket. Without further words, he held out his hand to display the short necklace made of metal.

Stunned and a little confused, I trailed a finger along the curved plate which had fine etchings engraved into the warm metal. "How... when did you get this?"

"Your father helped me. It was finally delivered the other day."

Smiling softly, I said, "So that's why you yelled at me and practically tossed me out of the study when I was looking for you."

"Sorry about that, but you had terrible timing. Laguna had me all riled up about making this some huge deal, and then you showed up, almost ruining the whole surprise. And I certainly wasn't going to do this in front of Laguna."

"Wait, 'some huge deal'?" I asked, looking up from the necklace to meet his oddly shy gaze.

After a deep breath, Seifer said, "Don't get upset or anything, but he thinks that this necklace means I want to marry you."

"Marriage...? Why would he think that?"

"Because he's a romantic idiot," the shifter stated before explaining, "He doesn't understand that we don't have a marriage ritual like yours. One person for life is an insane arrangement for most of us. Love shouldn't be constrained like that. And so we have these items to serve as a type of pledge." Holding up the choker, he continued to explain, "It's a necklace because I'm the first to declare my love for you, and the silver is a symbol for unchanging love."

I stared at him. "Unchanging... love?"

"Yeah. You see, silver is funny for us. We can wear it just fine, but if it gets into our blood, it temporarily prevents us from changing form. Thus, 'unchanging love'. Of the different materials to use, silver is the one with the greatest meaning."

"Seifer... are you certain?"

The shifter smiled broadly. "I've never doubted which metal you deserved."

I shook my head. "You haven't had the chance to find someone else."

"Like I tried to explain to your father, this isn't marriage. While I can't imagine it ever happening, if I do meet someone else and move on, you will always be in my thoughts. It's just a symbol of that." Moving in closer, he looked directly into my eyes. "Will you accept my love for you?"

Unable to think of any worthwhile words, I hesitated before nodding.

His smile widening further, Seifer lifted his hands to place the warm metal around my throat. Once the chain was fastened, heated hands moved to cup my face. With amazing gentleness, he kissed my forehead and slowly trailed lower, forcing me to close my eyes. Overwhelmed, I couldn't open them again as he continued down my flushed cheek, eventually reaching my parted lips. There was the remaining sweetness of strawberries to the shifter's typical taste, and I moaned softly at the reminder of the blond's creativity with whipped cream. Seifer responded with a needy noise of his own, but I broke the kiss before it could deepen further.

"What does it feel like?" I asked, surprised by my breathy tone.

With a bright haze highlighting his green eyes, Seifer frowned in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"To... love someone. What is it like? How do you know?"

The shifter promptly laughed at me, but I couldn't feel offended at the heartfelt tone. Eventually he calmed down, but his eyes continued to shine with laughter. "Do you want me, Squall?"

"... I don't deserve to have you."

"That wasn't the question, but I'll make this easier on you." Lowering his hand to the choker, he fingered the metal. "You love me. Maybe in your own confused, instinctual way, but it's still love. You wouldn't worry about me if you didn't have those feelings."

I frowned slightly. "I wouldn't have to worry if you didn't give me cause."

Unbothered by my tone, Seifer said, "But it's fun to make you jump whenever I pretend to almost fall down the stairs. And it's my payback for having our room on the freaking second floor. Do you know how annoying it is to climb those stairs with this extra weight you've given me?"

"But if you were to fall, you could seriously hurt yourself or endanger the baby's health. Why would you take such a risk?"

The shifter smiled. "You mentioned me before the little one. I like that," he attempted in that sultry tone of his, but it was ruined by a prolonged yawn.

"It's time for bed."

The childish pout made its appearance once more. "But Squa-all, I want to fuck you."

Standing up from the couch, I offered a hand to the blond. "I'll be here in the morning. You need your rest while you can get it."

"Fine, but I want pastries and sweets in the morning. Nothing that is green or potentially good for me. Got it? Oh, and lots of that cream we had this afternoon," he added with a smirk.

I squeezed the hand that had been placed onto mine. "I'll see if I can convince Mrs K."

~ > < ~

Pulling a thick rag out of the bucket at my feet, I wrung out most of the cold water before I turned my attention to the heavily breathing man. With firm stokes, I wiped the flushed face free of tears and sweat, and then folded the cloth to place it on his forehead. After a weak growl, Seifer opened his eyes to glare down at his stomach and my father kneeling before him. Edea tried to take the customary midwife position earlier, but the shifter wanted none of that and immediately volunteered Laguna to bring his grandchild into the world. For once, the older man was speechless with the trust Seifer held for him.

"What the fuck is taking so long?! And is that fucking sunlight at the window? It had better not be. Why isn't this over yet?!"

While the first yells from the shifter had shaken my father, we were all tired by that point. Seifer had gone into labor sometime the night before last, but accustomed to pain, the idiot thought he only had a stomachache from bad food. It wasn't until nearly dawn, now a day past, when he woke me up with the plea to get help.

With the cloth in place, I moved my hand back into his heated grip. Instantly his hold tightened to painful levels, and his moist gaze shifted to my face.

"How could you do this to me, you bastard. I give you the fuck of your life and you just _had_ to get me pregnant, didn't you?" Hissing in pain, he leaned back into the pillows. "I'm going to die. After all this time, I'm going to die."

"You won't die," I said for easily the fiftieth time that day.

He huffed, whether not believing me or upset at the idea of staying alive, I couldn't tell. "This is it. You better like this kid because I'm not giving you another one."

The statement stunned me, mostly because I wasn't one to think about the future. Hell, I was living in a future which wasn't supposed to exist, and for that reason, I had never considered the possibility of more than one child in my life. But after Seifer's comment, I had the image of my siblings and how happy they were playing together. It was a nice thought, but I wouldn't push the shifter into another pregnancy. I was blessed enough with his partnership and our one child.

"Oh, no."

Startled out of my thoughts, I stared into green eyes narrowed in distress. "What is it?"

"Stop that! Don't look like some wounded animal I just stabbed for the fun of it."

"Seifer..."

"**No**, damn it! Don't say anything." Taking several deep breaths, the shifter nearly crushed my hand in his. "We'll talk after this demon gets the **fuck out of me!**"

"Oh, a head, a head! I think I see a head," Laguna nearly cheered with renewed energy. "What do I do next, Edea?"

Compared to the rest of the labor, the actual birth process happened much faster than I believed possible. The poor child was a complete mess upon birth, and there was a precious minute before Edea managed to clear the baby's throat and a healthy cry echoed in the room. While the sorceress and my father gently cleaned the tiny human, I glanced over to Seifer. He was barely conscious by the look of him, but he still reached out a hand to the newborn.

"How is he?"

Laguna turned around with the broad smile of a grandfather plastered on his face. "She's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful and healthy as can be."

Stunned, I stared at my father. "A girl...?"

After a sharp nod, he returned to pay attention to his crying granddaughter.

There was then a strong hand at my upper arm, forcing me to look down. The green eyes were wide with panic as Seifer clutched even harder at my arm.

"Please... I want to keep her. _Please_..."

Confused by his plea, I asked, "Why wouldn't we?"

Apparently appeased by the question, Seifer closed his eyes tightly as a final tear slid down his cheek, and with his energy exhausted, he slumped against me with a soft sigh. Though still concerned about his desperate state beforehand, I didn't attempt to disturb his rest. Instead, I removed the cloth from his forehead, and after gently wiping away the remaining moisture from his face, I arranged him into a more comfortable position on the bed.

"Will he be all alright?" I asked, unable to move my eyes from Seifer's face.

Walking to my side, Edea spoke quietly. "He'll be fine. Just give him the time to rest and his body the time to change back to its natural state. Meanwhile, I think this one wants the attention of her father."

I faced the sorceress, surprised to see her carrying the wrapped bundle of warm sheets. The infant within was still crying softly as she waved a fisted hand against her bindings. I smiled at the sight of new life, but then Edea motioned for me to take the child from her.

Stiffly, I shook my head. "No, I shouldn't--"

"This is your daughter. Will she never know your touch for the rest of her life? Because if you refuse now, it will only get harder to allow yourself to embrace this miracle."

I was terrified at that moment, and it wasn't a feeling that I was accustomed to. I wanted so much to hold the infant, but my hands felt heavy with the blood I knew was there. I don't know how long I sat there, debating the right I had to touch my own daughter, but then a needy whimper came from the newborn, something that sounded too much like Seifer when he had gotten ill a few months previous. Just as the shifter always got his way with such a pathetic noise, I couldn't resist giving in to the tiny girl.

I cradled her with the greatest care that I could manage, but I still felt like I was crushing that fragile life. Even so, the infant eventually calmed down to sleep, which gave me some confidence that I wasn't hurting her. She was so small, coming into this world earlier than we expected, but her hand which gripped onto my finger showed her inner strength. While I stared at newborn, my father and Edea had left the room, but I didn't notice the fact until I moved from my chair and took a seat on the far more comfortable bed.

Seifer didn't wake until long after a heavy tray filled with breakfast food was delivered to our room. He was sluggish upon waking, as if not recognizing his surroundings at first, but then the hazy green eyes glanced over at the bundle in my arms. After a moment of thought, the shifter snapped fully awake as his hand shot down to his flattened stomach.

"How do you feel?" I asked, unwilling to speak louder than a whisper with the sleeping babe in my hold.

"Good, actually," Seifer said with some surprise. Raising his hand, he shifted its color several times before it returned to his natural golden-brown tone. "I almost forgot what it felt like to be in control of my body."

I nodded, relieved that he was fine. "Then, would you like to hold your daughter?"

The same fearful expression crossed the man's face before he reached out for our child. Seifer cradled the newborn tight against his chest, so tightly that I was almost worried for the little girl's life. But the babe only squirmed vaguely before settling in her other father's hold.

"Gods, she's perfect," he whispered roughly as his bright green eyes began to water.

"Seifer, is something wrong?"

He quickly shook his head. "No, far from wrong." After placing a soft kiss on the babe's tiny nose, he said, "Sorry for doubting you earlier, but I was exhausted and wasn't exactly thinking straight."

"What do you mean?"

Green eyes never leaving his daughter's face, Seifer said, "I was supposed to have your heir, a role this little one wouldn't fill. Adel would've killed her instantly... and I know you were expecting a son as well, and I thought... Sorry, I shouldn't have doubted you."

Cautiously I placed an arm around Seifer's shoulder, and instead of the flinch I was expecting, the larger man leaned heavily against me. Knowing my touch wasn't feared, I pressed my lips against his temple. "Both you and our daughter are safe. I will make certain of that."

"I know. But I still want you to teach me how to wield a blade. I want to protect this little one with you."

With a soft smile, I said, "Anything you want."

* * *

[Epilogue]

[Squall]

"This translation isn't quite right. Why don't you try it again?"

Though the youth at my side attempted a familiar pout, it quickly faded into a thoughtful frown as she refocused her attention on the text in front of her. At twelve years old, Tania loved books as much as her grandfather. Her light brown hair was often tied back so that the long strands wouldn't get in the way of her reading.

"Daddy, Daddy, is this good?"

Glancing to my other side, I looked at the amazingly skilled sketch of a horse by the eight-year-old boy. "Yes, it's very good, Wyden, but I thought I wanted you to copy that poem five times."

The dark-haired youth smiled at me with his gapped tooth grin. "But this is more fun."

I placed my hand at the back of his neck. "I know, but you want to learn how to read and write, don't you."

"Yeah," he answered with annoyance, and then grabbed a new sheet of paper to copy the poem I had pointed out to him earlier.

As I returned to my own book to read, I barely managed a page before the study door was slammed open. The children jumped at the sound and turned sharply to face the interruption. Meanwhile, I finished the paragraph before marking my place and then closing the book to set it aside. By the time I stood and faced the front of the room, Seifer appeared from behind a bookcase with our youngest held tight against his side. The three-year-old had dried tear tracks staining his cheeks, the sight instantly worrying me.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, my hand instinctively going to the sword hilt at my side.

"Papa's broken!" Alder announced as his light green eyes began to tear up once more.

I couldn't prevent the urge to smile, amused that all three children would describe Seifer's condition in the same manner. But seeing the shifter's upset expression, I held back my pleasure at our son's unknowing announcement. Seifer said nothing as he set down the young boy, and after a glare sent in my direction, he turned around sharply before storming off.

I sighed at his dramatics. "Tania, do you think that you can keep your brothers in place for a little while?"

She nodded with a smile. "Tell Papa that I want a sister this time."

I returned her smile before I left in search of the shifter. It wasn't hard to find the large man, him having three main spots which he preferred fleeing to. With the children in the study and the kitchen most likely busy with making dinner, that left the sitting area in our chambers. More specifically, the couch in front of the fireplace where he gave me the necklace I have yet to remove. And that was where I found him, seated in his typical sprawl as he stared at the charcoaled wood left in the large fireplace.

After closing the door, I leaned against the dark wood and waited for a sign from Seifer that I was welcomed in his personal space. Eventually he sighed and patted the seat next to him. Upon sitting, my chin was grabbed by a strong hand and I was made to look into his shielded gaze.

"Don't look like that," Seifer said with a frown. "You have three children. Isn't that enough?"

I raised an eyebrow at his question. "I believe you were the one demanding that--"

"You're not supposed to listen to me!"

Though it pained me to even think it, I said, "If this truly bothers you, there are ways to..." I couldn't finish the suggestion, but by the shifter's scowl, my point had gotten across.

"Of course this bothers me, but... shit, I still love the brats you've given me, but it's so hard..."

"Tania says she wants a sister."

Seifer straightened at that and soon he was laughing softly. "She would. I caught her trying to dress up Alder the other week."

Taking his hand in mine, I asked, "Do you want this?"

He scoffed before resting his forehead on my shoulder. "No choice now. I know how much you love this crap. But I want more massages this time. And chocolates. And you have to read to me whenever I want. Oh, and absolutely, positively, Mrs K can't find out until I'm showing. Got it?"

"Understood," I said before kissing the tip of his ear.

"And the next time, you get pregnant."

Laughing, I said, "Not likely."

Humming as he lightly bit my neck, he asked, "Would you blame me if I tried again? And again, and again..."

"Seifer, the children--"

"Laguna will find them before they starve," he stated while efficiently trapping me beneath him as he continued to nibble at my skin.

"Seifer..."

Leaning back, the blond flashed me a lecherous grin. "Do I already need to remind you that you agreed to give me more massages?"

Recognizing that defeat was inevitable, I relaxed under the large man and wrapped my arms around his neck before I spoke into his ear. "And what does your lordship desire of me tonight?"

"You know," he murmured against my skin as a soft purr already began to sound from the shifter. "You know everything I want."

{Owari}


End file.
